We decided – by which I mean, I was getting edgy and needed to get out otherwise I’d it on my arse in my office all day, working on a Sunday and getting more edgy – to go on a Day Trip.

We felt a trip to Phillip Island, on this cold, windy and rainy day, might be a bit of fun.

It started with Godzilla doing his Naked Bed Dance, and Monkey Boy wanting to invite a friend, and me not being able to think of one I liked today. Or just think, in general.

We all pile into the car, grabbing spare clothes and some snacks for the journey, which Grumpy throws into the back of the car, well out of easy reach. You know, just to make the trip more fun.

Off we go, Monkey Boy still sulking, me driving because it allows me to switch off and make Grumpy deal with Chippie who has decided to scream for no apparent reason. Although, possibly because Monkey Boy is bored and sticking his face into Chippie’s when all Chippie wants to do is go to sleep.

Several seconds in and Monkey Boy is demanding his magnifying glass that Godzilla is playing with and was essential for the nealry two hour trip.

Onto the freeway and the “I don’t want to go” starts. I like, that started before breakfast when I said “who wants to go somewhere today” and only let up so they could fight about magnifying glasses, then go back to whinging and complaining.

I flicked over to the CD and turned it up. We seem to have the Shrek soundtrack permanently in the car’s CD player, and it is the CD Godzilla inevitably demands we play. It is good driving music, and has, I have decided, become the theme or anthem to our family day trips.

Mostly due to the first song on the CD, which is, because I say so, no longer an official Shrek soundtrack song, but the official Family Day Trip song, particularly the line that goes:

I wanna stay home today, don’t wanna go out 

Also, let it be known that that is what my face looks like on Family Day Trips. The ENTIRE time. Just sayin’

Arrive at Phillip Island, with only once having to confiscate magnifying glass and threaten to throw it out window. Sadly, as I was driving, I delegated that task to Grumpy who only pretended to throw it out, thus causing them not to believe anything I said. Was also sadly robbed of opportunity to say “See that, that’s where we’re not gong for lunch!” as we passed what used to be the scene of a train restaurant, but is no longer there.

We head for lunch, then head off to The Nobby’s because it has an hilarious name and I wanted to wear the kids out.

Chippie was asleep, of course, by the time we got there, but woke happy and had a ball running around.

Until I took him off the fence he was standing on, he had a tantrum, then, in an attempt to show me he wanted to climb back up, smacked his forhead into a paling and cried some more. With a lovely big red mark on his forehead.

Monkey Boy and Godzilla made the most of their dad’s binoculars and the amazing scenery.

Mild frowning from other tourists as Monkey Boy and I had a race to see who could make it back first, choosing a different path each; yes, please excuse me for having a bit of a laugh (and making my kids run off some energy so they can’t annoy me so much).

Into the centre where they have large viewing cameras and screens that prevent you actually seeing out the windows to the view, and where we checked out some of the educational and interactive displays and Chippie smacked his mouth on the stairs and cut his lip. Again.

(I believe he has had more cut lips in his lifetime than his older brother’s have had in theirs. Combined.)

Because they had been so well behaved, we were obliged to take them to the chocolate factory that we’d been holding over them since arriving on Phillip Island.

The kids were kept entertained, as were a majority of the other customers, by watching the train running through the display at the entrance, and Chippie made great attempts to climb through the perspex window and the teensy tunnel through which the train went, whilst we checked out the tour.

Which we couldn’t pass up, as there was the opportunity to do interactive chocolatey thingies; Monkey Boy licked the wall that said “do not lick walls”, we found out much about the cocoa been and discovered just how clever Chippie is when he discovered the chocolate button selecting robot and had a veritable chocolate feast.

The chocolate waterfall attracted my attention, as I feel the need to mention this to Coke Dude and remind him I have yet to see a Coca-Cola fountain and require visits to various countries where Coca-Cola is located in order to view such a fountain.

Finally, it was into the room where we could watch chocolate molding and packing and wrapping and the like. We also had the opportunity to create our own chocolate swirly thing and watch it set and travel v e r y  s l o w l y along a conveyor belt. Amidst the excitement, we lost Chippie and had a moment of panic.

We discovered the thoughtful owners had created an area, at toddler height, designed to keep them occupied and safe and easily found. Or, at least, highly unlikely to wander off once they had found it.

Once he’d eaten ten times the cost of the factory tour entrance fee in chocolate, we left, had a much needed after the blustery-windy walk we’d embarked on earlier and set off home.

Where we would have slept on the way, had we not eaten so much chocolate!