19 Replies to “10 things I hate about Depression”

  1. I hate that my days will amble along, and I’ll muse, “Maybe I should make salad for dinner. Maybe I should clean the kitchen. Maybe I should kill myself…” and I have to remind myself that I’m not supposed to think that thought, even though it seems like the most natural thing in the world to think, and it’s always hanging in my rearview mirror, like some hideous fairy godmother.

  2. I hate depression cause it makes me feel like no one gives a shit about you, it makes me feel isolated from everyone and reality. It’s tiring to pretend to be happy and then inside feeling like exploding, feeling hated, alone and so much more. I hate depression because my moods affect my loved ones, it hurts them and at times when i say sorry for acting out they say they understand and yet inside im thinking they don’t understand and they are thinking the same but they mean well if that makes sense. You can feel happy for a bit and then something extremely small like not being able to find the scissors for something and you collapse in a heap like its the end of the world when in fact all you have to do is go to the next drawer and get them. You collapse for the most stupid reasons and then feel stupid for reacting that way…i totally hate what depression does to everyone!

    Thank you for this post!!!! Its sad but its sooo good to know someone gets what its like!! You’re a gem! love ya xox

  3. It’s feeling dead. Or as good as…

    Being a carcass, and feeling totally hollow.

    Yes, the knowing what to do, but being paralysed, and just unable to do ANYTHING.

    The other thing is not having ANY awareness whatsoever just how bad a place you’re in until long after the fact.

    The best things?

    Recovery IS possible, and the process of recovery can make you the strongest person in the world!

  4. Thanks Amanda. I’ve just sent this to my husband so that he might try and understand why at the moment I can’t manage to get off to see the doctor or why I can’t manage to get outside and exercise or do the dishes or read a book to my baby or brush my fucking hair or not sigh at everything. Sigh. Sometimes no matter how much you try and explain, it takes someone else’s words, and I think yours are perfect for this.

  5. the feeling that the whole world is going on around you and you are trapped in a glass room no way to communicate with the outside world

    Otherwise LOVE LOVE LOVE this Amanda 🙂

  6. Yes, all of it…. And more…. Not having the energy to talk to your children, especially when you are all they have. Sometimes I wonder if they think the TV is their mother…

    Not having the energy to even write and rant about it.

    Feeling sorry for yourself, even when you have good reason and hating yourself for feeling sorry for yourself….

    You are NOT alone, Amanda….

  7. Not having enough energy to get through anything but the basics and wondering how the hell you are ever going to get back to paid work. Feeling a failure because you needed to be hospitalised to get a handle on it. Having to take medication that makes me feel tired and has put on a crapload of weight that I can’t seem to shift. Knowing SOME people (not all thankfully) in my life, love to say that I have ‘mental health issues’/are ‘mentally unstable’ and pass judgement on me. Feeling so lonely when you are in a room of people who are having fun, talking, just being without feeling the need to top themselves. I could go on for days …but posts like yours encourage sharing and normalise things and they are so important. So thank you for pressing ‘publish’.

  8. …you are NOT alone…and you are amazing, important and courageous to others. Never forget that. We are all in this together. This is the hardest job in the world, it takes away from our sense of self, and how the hell do we get it back??! Sometimes its easier to just not try….but every little reach-out, open up, honest admission to others is a step towards the light….keep going everyone…there is hope, and yep sometimes i can’t see it either, but KNOW its there. and yes no-one will ever really understand you either.

    ….remember too we are in the midst of Winter, especially us Southerners, it’s cold, wet, dark early and lonely.

    take care all and remember to embrace the sun when it shines… love n light xx

  9. Feeling that you are alone, and that you feel ashamed to tell people you suffer from depression…when you ‘seem’ to have it all. At times I feel it is a very indulgent, selfish, isolating illness.As you are stuck in your ‘own world’ on your bad days….It is so hard to explain to people what goes on with your thoughts….and why is it that you have panic attacks when there is ‘no onions”!!!! 🙂

  10. Well said Amanda

    For me, it’s the absolute paralysis from doing even the simplest most inane things eg wiping a dirty bench in the kitchen. Physically I should be capable of doing it but somehwo I can’t lift the dishcloth!

    Thank heavens haven’t been there for a while!

    But I’m aware that it can be easy to slip back there!

    Cheers

  11. Being in that “no pain” state, whereby your kid can crash into a door and be screaming in pain, and you have to actually register, “oh” thats a pain cry and I should get up and hug them..instead of instinctively just doing it. Then to acknowledge that you “had” to register it … that for me is when I know its visiting.I hate that cloud/dog.

  12. I hate that for years I have thought that ‘depression’ is a made up ailment of overindulged western society because life is so good there is nothing more to complain about – you know like starvation, genocide, ethnic cleansing or stuff like that.. just pop a pill everything will be ok. Until that is, I started to relate more to your number 2 than to my own husband and kids. I hate that I feel like nothing is really wrong with me while other people go through tremendous tragedy and can smile and still have the time to be happy and caring to others, while I can barely crack a smile or say hello to my husband.

    I also hate the question on replay in my head…am I really depressed because a GP says I am and has prescribed anti-deppressants or am I just not happy with the way my life has turned out???

    Thanks everyone for sharing everyone.

  13. The thing I hate the most about depression is the complete lack of understanding by non-sufferers! The way I would love for it to be explained is simple… Depression is just an illness.. just like Asthma, or a heart condition. It can be mild so that the person suffering looks and sounds normal – much like a mild asthmatic or someone with a mild heart problem. Regular check ups can keep it under control somewhat, but it’s still there.

    Or it can be a major, life threatening illness – much like Asthma or a heart problem where the sufferer needs to take medication constantly so that their life is not in danger.

    It’s just an illness like any other – Asthma affects the lungs, Heart conditions affect the heart, Diabetes affects the kidneys – it’s just that it affects a different organ – the brain. You can’t ‘snap out of it’ any more than you can ‘snap out of asthma’. It’s there and all you can do is treat it and work hard at looking after yourself – like anyone who is unwell.

    Good luck to all the above people – I hope you keep well! 🙂
    Chris

  14. The struggling to make the effort to interact meaninfully with your child when all you want to do is crawl under the doona and disappear, which only makes you feel worse as they are the most important ppl in your world. The inability to see any positivity or ‘light at the end of the tunnel’. Complete lack of self confidence/self worth and your own doubt in your ability to do anything.

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