There I was, minding my own business, trying to pull of the “I’ve just jogged the 1km to school” look, when the reality is I haven’t showered for two days – again – when I was approached my Another School Mum.
“Did you walk again?” she asked.
“I did,” I replied, tossing my mane of greasy/sweaty hair and attempting to look “with it”.
“You’re such a good mum,” she responded.
My attempts to dismiss such an accusation where waved away with a flap of her hand and she would hear none of it. Thus, this incident has prompted me to list the Top Seven Reasons I Am A Good Mum , and, equally, the Seven Reasons I’m Not.
7 Reasons I’m A Good Mum (according to the Mumfia and everything you read that tells you you’re a good mum, and a few of the Other Mums at School)
- I walk to school, as do the kids, every day (although some days they ride) and home again
- I cook them a meal every night
- We never go to McDonalds (or any other fast food outlet)
- I don’t put packaged anything in their lunchboxes for school, and it’s a basic lunch, that I make every morning
- I joke and muck around and laugh with the kids, often
- I help out at school, at lunchtimes and in the classroom
- I don’t give in to tantrums, ever.
Sounds pretty good, huh?
7 Reason’s I’m a Bad Mum (according to my kids, mostly, and some Other Mums at School)
- I walk to school, as do the kids, every day, and home again
- I cook them a meal every night … they’d really prefer I didn’t and takeaway or fast food would be nice, please mum?
- We never go to McDonalds (or any other fast food outlet) … please mum, please?
- I don’t put packaged anything in their lunchboxes for school … the other kids get chocolate!
- I joke and muck around and laugh with the kids, often …. please stop, you’re really embarrassing me. MUM, STOP! Please?!
- I help out at school, at lunchtimes and in the classroom … Ok, but can you please sit in the corner and not say anything? You’re embarrassing me again.
- I don’t give in to tantrums. EVER! …I hate you, you never let me have anything, you’re the worst mum in the world!
I’m so awesome, right?
7 Reasons That Are My Reality … and I don’t care if it’s Good, Bad or Indifferent
- I walk to school, every day because I really, really hate putting the kids in the car – with a passion – and their tantrums are much easier to deal with out in the open, and it’s a good excuse for me to do some exercise. Also, have you seen what it’s like around the school at school drop off and pick up time? It is NUTS and highly dangerous, who in their right mind would drive to school and endure that?
- I cook them a meal every night, because it is my thing I do to relieve stress. I never said I was good at it, ever. Also, I can think of nothing worse than sitting in a drive through with a bunch of kids, or going in and ordering with a bunch of kids. I prefer the luxury of having a glass of wine in my hand and the ability to yell “Go to your room, NOW!” so I may be left in peace.
- We never go to McDonalds (or any other fast food outlet) because I don’t like the taste, therefore, if I don’t like it, we don’t eat it. The same applies to mushrooms, brussels sprouts and creme brulee … (also, see point 2 of this list)
- I don’t put packaged anything in their lunchboxes because that is good shoe money right there going on food for lunchboxes. I don’t think so.
- I joke and much around and laugh with the kids. Often. Because I have yet to grow up. Also, it embarrasses them.
- I help out at school, at lunchtimes and in the classroom, because I was coerced into the lunchtime thing once a week and it allows me to get work done without the distraction of my computer and various online forums and networks. I help out in the classroom because I either hang around the playground for an hour, which is revoltingly boring, or walk back home, down the hill, only to turn around and come back up the hill as soon as I get there. Also, this term, I’m really enjoying the subject matter …
- I don’t give into tantrums. Ever. Because I’m all about keeping the peace, and the quickest way to keep the peace is let them know they won’t get what they want by throwing a tantrum. So far, it’s working.
So, you see, I’m not a “good” mum. I don’t know I’m a “bad” one, either, really. I do all these things to make my life easier … call me selfish if you like, I don’t mind. But please don’t call me good or bad, and definitely don’t compare what you do as a mum to what I do … you may very well have got the reality all wrong.