A Bum Reward

A change in shifts means a change in our ‘routine’ (am using the term loosely) and two days a week that Chippie and I get to spend in each other’s company.

I have learnt, for the benefit of both of us, to schedule some form of activity that will keep us both suitably occupied, that he has a relative level of interest in and that doesn’t have me wanting to slit my wrists or poke myself in the eye the arse end of a Trash Pack/Thomas Train/Excessively Watched DVD.

Thinking up something is a challenge in itself.

Sometimes it’s a trip to the zoo, or a business meeting with someone who also has children,whether or not her children are there. Today’s fun filled and exciting excursion was The Grocery Shop!

There was initial upset where he, in control of an appropriately sized trolley for a four-year-old, rammed into various shelves, trolleys of others and the backs of my legs – all, apparently “buffers” which were positioned, apparently, purely to prevent the ‘runaway trucks’ from smashing.

Note to self: Restrict exposure to Thomas.

After this, however, he was his most usual self throughout the grocery shop; helpful, entertaining, rambling on some story that was playing out in his head … and the shopping was done.

The fruit and vegetable department was our last port of call, where he made his way around determining which items would be offered the privilege or accompanying us home. Broccoli – apparently not, bananas yes.

Apples, mandarins and then he stumbled upon the pears.

He doesn’t mind them. Personally, I can give or take them, as I don’t like fruit to be mushy, nor tooth-breaky. I like my pears, in particular, to be firm when bitten.

Pears tend to have a window of approximately .023 seconds between being too hard and unpleasant to eat, and squishy, mooshy and unpleasant to eat.

Chippie, however, insisted on pears, and was most enchanted to find one that “look like a BUM! Hahahahahahahahaha!”

“Can I keep it?” he asks, and how could I refuse.

Despite the post-shop coffee/milkshake, it was the promise of The Bum Pear that had him behaving in a manner most fit for my sleep deprived temperament.

I managed to hold it over him till we concluded all other tasks required on our outing, and additional jobs required to be done when we returned.

As I firmly believe with all rewards; it’s not a reward unless it holds some sort of merit to the recipient.

If a Bum Pear holds that merit, a Bum Pear it is.

I am also most impressed at my children’s abilities to locate such miracles of fruit!

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