Finally, finally, after much “Are we getting a Christmas tree today?” every day, for the last six months …
Ok, fine. technically since the 1st because they know not to ask before then … whatever, we finally got the Christmas tree.
And thus began the process of Christmassing it … or decorating it, as we mere mortals like to call it. Or, in this family, Mish Mashing it. I can’t recall if it were Monkey Boy or, more likely, Godzilla who referred to Christmas as “Mismas”, nor can I recall the exact moment I went from being one of those people who decorated their tree in such a manner that it consisted of only three colours (red, gold and something else that I can’t recall but am fairly sure wasn’t chartreuse or lavender) with the decorations spaced at precise intervals, both horizontally and vertically along the tree.
Again, technically, despite the severity of my desire, my tree never looked like that, but I gave it a damned good go.
Anyhoo, at some point, I gave up, and the tradition of decorating the Christmas tree feel entirely into my hands – except it was already in my hands, the Grumpy Fucker wanting no part of it – and those of the children.
Thus, the Christmas Tree was soon referred to as the Mish Mash Tree. Aside from being derived from the speech of a three year old, it also suitably reflects the result of the decorating of the tree.
Aside from the stock standard Tinsel We Bought Sometime Last Decade and the Lack Of Balls Because They Are In The Box With The Santa Sacks We’d Prefer Not To Extract This Year, and the lights which were given to us by someone else whose children had grown up and they now have trees decorated in three colours only, with decorations evenly placed, and the Decorations Made At Childcare, Pre-School and School our Mish Mash Tree features such ornamentation as:
Yes, a neatly tied bunch of gold-coloured bits of string one would usually utilise to attach baubles to individual fronds of the Tree. Generally, these bits of string would also be separated before use. In our case, they are an ornament unto themselves.
Ditto the cluster of green hooks, also designed specifically for the purpose of appending baubles and other tree-decoration-like paraphernalia to select fronds of the live greenery adorning our living room.
Waste not, want not, as they say, and in this time of financial stress, why not utilise three balls, tied with a piece of blue string that was, in fact, part of the wrapping of a present some years ago.
You may recognise it; it is, indeed, the red ribbon and gold bell from a Lindt Golden Rabbit, which generally makes an appearance sometime around