All in a biscuit smeared day's work

Grumpy up and out the door early, and I’m left to organise weekday morning chaos AND tidy the kitchen.

Clean? Meh.

Also, to locate a suitable hiding spot for the 14 loads of washing that has been washed, hung, un-hung and awaiting folding and putting away. I also have drop kids at school (“NO! We are not driving! Why must you ask me this EVERY morning?!”) and be back home, showered, dressed and made up by 10am.

Easy! Arrive home at 9.03 and am sitting around waiting from around 9.23am, and avoiding having the biscuit Chippie is eating smeared all over my nice clean top.

Crew from A Current Affair just in time to witness Chippie performing one of his more head-banging-on-ground-and-cupboard-doors style tantrums and me ignorning it. My Tuesday Business Colleague arrives moments later with lattes.

As the story we are filming relates to school lunchboxes, I am set the task of preparing the usual lunches I prepare each morning. The difference is, this morning I am showered and dressed, and as the kids are actually at school, I am not yelling “go and get your bloody shoes on, I’m not asking again!” every 23 seconds. Nor am I muttering “for fuck’s sake” under my breath.

Ok, maybe I did that last bit a couple of times.

I have the utmost privelege of preparing approximately 14 lunches during the morning, and found myself muttering about how many lunches I’ve bloody made until it dawned on me that I would be relieved of this particular duty for the next couple of days due to stockpiling of Vegemite sandwiches and carrot sticks. Hurrah!

During the morning, the crew also discovered Godzilla’s ability to be most useful and helpful, as well as “practice his writing by getting him to write the shopping list”, as recommended by his teachers, and which I encourage, partly due to recommendations and partly because I can’t be arsed. The sound guy pointed to my shopping list/white board and had a chuckle. I advised him this is really what I put in the school lunches *sigh*

A phone call from the segment producer arrives and I am requested to remain in my clothes, with my hair and makeup in tact so we can do a couple of shots with the older kids in it after I pick them up from school. Hrmmm. Given I regularly resemble someone whom has slept in their clothes for the last three nights when first getting dressed, I was curious to see whether I’d manage this task.

Also is the added challenge of remaining biscuit, snot and wee free for the next several hours. Drive to school to collect children, thus reducing my risk of looking like hobo upon my return, arrive home and referree several unnecessary arguments pertaining to which socks are whose (they’re all the bloody same and came in a pack of 20 identical socks for $3.50!) and whose bedroom it actually is, depsite there very clearly being two beds in it and two names on the door.

Attempted to remain upbeat so as not to have more tears than there already was (from me) or children refusing to cooperate (any less than usual).

A slightly different crew from this morning arrive, and with much chaos we film a few more segments. Am forced to repeat a particular part when the cameraman determines my actions (waving a knife at Monkey Boy and saying “stop eating the bloody carrots!”) as “politcally incorrect”. Am confused, as thought they were filming Lunch Making In My Kitchen, so was only doing what I do every morning.

The crew leave, I discover mooshed foodstuff on my shoulder and hope it was the one I had turned away from the camera for most of the filming. Head off to basketball registration when they inform me they have no idea what team Godizlla will be on, so “don’t get his uniform just yet” and I realise I’ve probably given them the wrong impression as my hair is done, and I’m wearing makeup and a nice top and I hope they don’t take me for someone who will be heavily involved in the club or even remotely “with it” most of the time.

In fact, I hope they don’t expect me to turn up this devoid of food and/or bodily fluids (not mine) on my clothing for the most part.

Race home to whip up a quick dinner, stuff it down, race off to guitar lessons where we have a new teacher and wish that I was wearing clothes that were more devoid of foodstuffs whilst mentally constructing my written letter of complaint regarding the level of cuteness of guitar teachers.

They should just not be allowed to be so CUTE!

Highlight of the day (aside from sitting in room for half an hour with cute guitar teacher and trying not to listen to Super Mario Bros theme on guitar): Multi-media megastar, Nick Coe, presenter on A Current Affair said “She is nothing if not a pragmatist!” About me. 🙂

Leave a Reply