Stuck at home with three boys whilst Grumpy goes off to work – on the holidays he is supposed to be having. Not much chance of getting work done, so opt for going shopping.
There is a purpose; we have to replace the bowls that have been broken over the last few months. Since both older boys have been “helping” by stacking and unstacking the dishwasher, to be exact.
Load the car and off we go to local, oversized shopping centre where, according to the 963 brochures stuffed into the letterbox, several shops are having sales on homewares.
Except for bowls, or so it appears when we get there. Seriously consider bulk purchase of plastic, disposable bowls. Can’t de-stress via retail therapy in form of shoe shopping (for me) so head, instead, to purchase clothes for children. Always a fun job.
First (and last) place we walk into appears to be having a sale on women’s underwear, or the manager just has a sick sense of humour and is sitting back watching the CCTV for all the mums who walk in with 8 year old boys.
“LOOK, MUM! BOOOOOBIIIIEEEEEEEES”
Yes, very mature is my 8 year old. And a smart ares to boot.
“Oh for god’s sake, stop behaving like an eight year old!”
“But I am an eight year old!”
“I don’t care. It’s still not an excuse to behave like one.”
And then, from the 6 year old “Fuck hehehehehe”
(I have nooo idea where he heard that word. It wasn’t me. It must have been one of the other kids)
“Look, mummy, it say’s ‘Boy swear’, so I did.”
Ah, great, must have words to school about them teaching him to read. I’m just not mentally ready for it yet.
Glare at man checkout chick who is, by this stage, pissing himself laughing, turn to Godzilla and say “No, that actually says ‘boys wear‘ not ‘boy swear’. And just because a sign tells you to do something doesn’t mean you should.”
Spend 23 minutes arguing with 6 year old about whether the sign says ‘boy swear’ or ‘boys wear’, discover they neither offer childminding or counselling nor do they sell valium, so leave in disgust.
Will be writing to head office about this lack of foresight when deciding on