I do realise I have been a little quiet. It’s not intentional; just been working behind the scenes of my Love, my Life, My Passion.
You know, Real Mums?
Oh, yeah. And I’ve been spending a bit of time with neglected children.
My own; what with them being all off school on school holidays and stuff.
I’ve also been doing a little bit of quiet reflection, as one is wont to do around this time of year.
Obviously, it all started about a month back, after I’d gotten over the 14th Birthday Party thing and had time to do the “Oh, fuck, it’s nearly the end of the year – what have I actually achieved?!”
Not being one who partakes in the socially expected ritual of New Year’s Resolutions, I’m still not immune to the phenomena of ‘reflecting on the past year’.
Initially, it wasn’t pretty. I started the year with some rather impressive roles and a long list of impressive titles and activities and projects under my name. I was doing some amazing shit, and stuff that I really, really enjoyed doing. Not to mentioned stuff that I was so extremely passionate about.
Upon looking back at those first few months of 2014, I quite inevitably fell into a bit of a slump.
For reasons, many of which were beyond my control, each of these things came to an end. In one case, a terrible, crushing, hurtful and sad end. In another case, very, very disappointing and still very saddening.
Others I had a semblance of control over, and was in the position of making a decision. Or, as I prefer to experience it, a Choice.
Due to circumstances and timing, and only considering those factors, the choices were somewhat simple. No brainers, really.
Considering a plethora of other factors; including emotions, wants, desires, loves, passions, and purpose, these choices were extraordinarily difficult.
I made them anyway.
I’m still feeling the crushing blow of defeat and failure at this point in my reflection of the past year. It’s not fun.
I push on. Surely there must have been something