Choosing a Massage Therapist

I love massages.

My favourite ones are the ones that really, really hurt. A lot. The ones that make me go “OMG that HURTS! Go harder!” and I sound like a production line prostitute in the process.

I have also been having massages for more than half my life, and am often asked for advice on where to go, who to see, what sort of massage to get and all the rest of it.

I will preface the following with the disclaimer that I have not been paid by anyone, in any way, to provide the following information, and that I am probably going to make some fairly gross generalisations and lump together a few ‘types’ of massagey-type-people that may otherwise be considered separate entities. I mean no disrespect, I’m just trying to simplify it for people.

Because a massage therapist is not ‘just’ a massage therapist. Indeed, there are quite a lot of different sorts of massage therapists, all of whom provide very different sorts of massages.

As mentioned, for simplicity, I will do quite a lot of generalising and simplifying in the process. It is also a really lovely thing to know that, at least in Australia, anyone who practices as a massage therapist – regardless of the type of massage they provide – must have relevant qualifications and have adequate training. Phew.

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Maybe it’s easier if I go with the

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