Christmas Family Traditions: The Santa Photo

Reminiscent of a few days ago, the day I completely forgot to take Chippie’s lunch to kindergarten, except this time, I forgot to make the school lunches at all, yesterday, for the last day of school.

We were all running considerably behind schedule and I was working through my usual routine, concluding with “Just get in the bloody car, we need to leave!!!” over the sound of Chippie tantrumming over some thing or other when Godzilla wanders, as he does, into the kitchen and says “Where’s my lunch?”

“Oh, fuck,” is my reply and I tell them to get into the car anyway, so I can make lunch in peace and save my vocal cords some.

Clearly on some kind of fucked up roll, and being the first official day of school holidays, coupled with the Festive Season, I decide that the traditional, annual Santa photo would be a great idea today.

Also, it gets us out of the house and has a great chance of the Homicide Squad also being kept away from the house.

I want to go to the one we’ve been going to for the last twelve years, this year making it the thirteenth year, since Monkey Boy was 18 days old. Nawwww.

The only problem is, they have significantly reduce the hours that Santa is there, which is the main reason we’re leaving it till this late in the season.

A sleep in, coffee, Monkey Boy being an arse, Godzilla refusing to eat breakfast and still tired and teary, and Chippie refusing to get dressed and I can sense that the day is going to be filled with fun. Just fab-u-lous!

I extract some clothes for Chippie to wear, so he looks slightly reasonable, and go and shower. Emerge to find Godzilla has still not eaten, Chippie is still not dressed and Monkey Boy is pretending to help, but is really being an obstructive arse.

I hear a loud, repetitive, banging sound.

It takes me a while to realise that it is the sound of me, banging my head against a wall.

Finally …

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