I’ve kinda been a little quiet.

You may put this down to the overflowing calendar that has been my May, or the overabundance of craziness in my life right now. You’d be right, to a degree.

But, no, that’s not all of it.

I feel this is a little like the third in a trilogy (or not) of posts, commencing with Sad

6 Replies to “Clarity”

  1. Dude! Manipulative, my arse! Ha! I know too how it feels to have someone you respect do something that just fucks with your mind and your confidence to be honest about how you are doing. It’s really not cool. For myself I say thank you. Thank you a million times over for talking about this stuff the way you do. I am not alone in my struggles and neither are you. I read what you write and recognise so much of it. Good luck with the internal conflict over the woman who you respect, but has been an arse. And please keep on writing this stuff down. It helps me and I’m sure it helps others.
    I think you’re ace.

  2. Hi Amanda,

    Unfortunately, you have no control over how other people perceive you – especially when you are being perceived negatively. I know this because I’ve been perceived negatively when I was just being myself. It’s no wonder people are scared to open up to people because things you say or do always seem to get taken the wrong way.

    It’s very hurtful when someone close to you (in your case a friend, in my case my sister) just don’t “get” you isn’t it? My sister and I used to be close but now we are worlds apart and there’s nothing I can do about it. She believes what she wants to believe and that’s that.

    In the end, there’s nothing you can do but put your Big Girl Panties on, take a deep breath and get through it. Nothing can take away the hurt or dismay except time and/or distance. You’ve just got to surround yourself with the people who love and adore you.

    And you are worth being loved and adored Amanda!!! You may feel uncomfortable accepting it because of past experiences but there it is. You are the most amazing woman. You are a lifeline to women/mothers like me. You are funny, kind-hearted and all-round awesome!

    So there!

    I wish I could say something more helpful but when it comes to the “death” of a friendship, all you can do is grieve for a bit, consume vast quantities of alcohol and chocolate, and live through it.

    Here’s a quote that’s actually pretty sensible:

    “You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve or would’ve happened … or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.”

    Or as Dory would say: “just keep swimming” !!

  3. I love those words ‘worthy’ and ‘everyone’.

    ‘Worthy’ can be used so many times in fantasy stories, I won’t ask what fantasy this person is in. I know a person who I was extremely close to for far too many years and influenced me far too much, she judge’s people ‘worthy’ of her friendship by how much they do for her. Can’t think why we don’t speak any more.

    I don’t get why people use the word ‘everyone’ when they’re really speaking for themselves. If they don’t have the courage to ascribe the thoughts to themselves and themselves alone they shouldn’t be speaking.

    There speaketh my judgement!

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