I was under the impression taht ‘co-sleeping’ meant that sleep was had by all co-sleepers.

I was sadly mistaken.

Weeks of broken sleep and running around all over the place had left me somewhat exhausted. Fatigued. Tired beyond belief. I articluated this well, I thought.

Something along the lines of “I need some sleep!” Or quite possibly “I’ll fucking kill someone if I don’t get sleep NOW!!”

I teed up the whole family to co-operate. Monkey Boy was in his room, having quiet time and reading. Godzilla was told to pick a DVD (and, no, not in a foreplay kind of way this time) and Grumpy appeared to have made himself scarce.

Till I went to hop into bed, and there he was with Chippie. I mentioned, yet again, my desperateness and he said “It’s ok, I’m sleeping too,” and indicated an intention to take charge of Chippie.

I lay down, and dozed off. Immediatley, Chippie started crying, so Grumpy hoisted him over and said “There. There’s your mummy,” rolled over and went to sleep.

So, I lay for a bti, snuggling Chippie who dozed on and off. Course, not the most conducive position for a good rest.

Eventually he fell into a deeper sleep, I made myself comfortable and was this close to dozing off when the snoring started, and Godzilla came in and demanded stuff. Something. Talked him into climbing into bed, he wriggled forever and fell asleep.

During which time, everytime I was this close to the Land of Nod, someone snored, farted, wriggled or cried.

I gave up and read my book for a while, hoping it would seduce me into a coma (not bloody likely – it was a good book!) and attemtped sleep again.

The snoring, farting, wriggling and crying became too much and I stomped off to lie on the couch, with the intention of being a grumpy bitch to anyone who looked in my vague direction.

I put the chicken on for dinner instead.

Grumpy emerged some hour and a half later, smile on face and fully rested. Godzilla and Chippie still sleeping.

I was then accused of being a grumpy bitch and the enquiry “Why didn’t you sleep, then? was made of me.


Which part of “co-sleeping’ is the actual “sleeping” part. Coz I have yet to experience it!

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