December 20th

Five days to go and no pressies for our own kids.

Where is that award of mine?!

I’d been out to a local shop, which had something just perfect for Monkey Boy.

Grumpy didn’t like it. I spent a considerable amount of time trying to explain to Grumpy that it wasn’t actually about him, that the gift was for Monkey Boy and therefore probably going to be more appreciated by him than something that Grumpy wanted.

After some time I did the “Well you f***ing buy the Christmas presents then!” rational discussion.

Which has basically been going for the last ten years, where I say, why don’t you do the Christmas shopping, and he replies, I’m really busy at this time of year (true), I have five functions on this week alone (true – and he was working for all of them) and I really don’t have time (true). And the sticking the knife in “you do it so much better” (also very true).

However, this year, when the question was asked, given that I have just completed a degree, have a 12 month old business and two new ones starting up, and he is a Stay At Home Dad with no other committments, the response was “well, you’ve been doing it the last ten years, why should I start now”.

A small discussion later, Monkey Boy’s present was not bought because I refused (and don’t have the time) to think of something else.

Hence, the trip to massive, local, now feral and overly crowded shopping centre. Godzilla in tow.

Stupid, I know. But I’m just the Mum. Why would I be listened to? Aside from my previously acknowledged 10 years experience performing this gig. Anyhoo …

Stopped for a coffee break, Godzilla got bored, wandered a foot or so away and jammed his hands down his pants. Well, he is three, and had to be entertained somehow.

“Whatcha got there?” I asked him (because I am either an evil woman, or incredibly stupid).

“I gotta stiffy tape” he informs me. And a majority of the patrons at Gloria Jeans. “Look” he continues as he proceeds to show us his “stiffy tape” – including all those who had turned to look in response to the untimely and unexpected comment.

The remainder of the expedition continued with no further Godzilla-type incidents, however, surprise surprise, no present for Monkey Boy could be found.

So I made Grumpy drop Godzilla and I at home for a relaxing lunch and sit down in front of a DVD, then made him go back to the original shop to purchase the initial, appropriate gift.

Ten minutes later came the call…. “Its not here, they sold out.”

Well, duh, I could have told you that. Oh, wait a minute, I did tell you that.

“Uh huh” I respond.

“You got any suggestions” he asks.

“Yes, just the one. How about next time you listen to your wife!!!

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