Cup Day .. and we have planned the day, a family trip to the beach for fish and chips.

Of course, it doens’t start well … my newish coffee machine, designed for idiots and sleep deprived mothers, whereby it beeps annoyingly and refuses to work when some element of it hasn’t been inserted properly is not as idiot or sleep deprived mother-proof as I’d like.

I get up to the delicious smell of coffee, which is emanating from a largish puddle on the bench in front of the coffee machine and a much larger puddle on the floor.

Which happens when you don’t put the pot in the machine, and the machine not only neglects to tell you that the pot isn’t there by beeping incessantly and annoyingly, but also continues to function despite being potless.

Thankfully, new stainless steel kettle, courtesy of 10th wedding anniversary yesterday, prevents me from kneeling on the floor and licking the coffee up.

It was desperate times.

Of course, the toaster I purchased was chrome, not stainless, so am required to return it to exchange for matching appliance. And today is public holiday, thus stores are closed. Am forced to sip freshly made plunger coffee (a poor second cousin to my machine, but necessarily for the persistent survival of my family members) and observe bread toasting in non matching toaster.

Meanwhile, Chippie is having a tanty because no one will let him eat the LEGO, so he placates himself by emptying they recycle bin into a pile in the middle of my office floor, along with the contents of the “sentimental items” box.

New ‘do is not so much “whispy” as, say, “messy”, but not in a Hugh Granty, perfectly styled way. More along lines of “mum with no time or concept” kind of way.

Then we leave for our day trip, forced to stop the ensuing game of I Spy after round one (Godzilla choosing “T” which is always, tree. Even when it’s not “T”), when Monkey Boy chooses “E”, Godzilla comes up elephant, allegedly seen up the tree from the previous spying and an argument develops.

At which point, am so traumatised by the mornings events that I fall asleep.

Some hours later, we miss participating in the Cup in any manner and head home.

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