The school holidays were filled with incessant talking, arguing and annoying.
I thought the return to school would be better.
I don’t know if it’s the introduction of a new baby in the house, an argument people like to come up with because there’s really nothing else to suggest, but Monkey Boy has been … well, obnoxious is the first word that comes to mind.
The first one I can repeat in public and not be hauled off by child services at any rate.
Since Chippie has arrived home, he has wanted to “help”. Whilst this is lovely, it hasn’t been. Helpful, that is.
He’s tried pushing the baby’s head to “help him get on your boob” – um, no, he does a good job of that himself, thanks, and doesn’t need help.
He leans over to kiss the baby. Right over me, in my face, in the baby’s face. He takes off pooey nappies, but refuses to finish the job.
And when there is literally nothing he can do, hands on, he just stands there and talks. And talks. And talks, talks, talks, talks talks. When he has nothing to say, he makes up crap. Literally crap. And when he runs out of crap, he just makes up stupid words. Noises really. Annoying noises. Really annoying noises.
I thought the return to school, apart from going some way to saving my sanity, would lessen this behaviour. But he seems to be making up for the time he’s not with me during the day.
He’s talking more, and talking more absolute rubbish. The Annoyance Levels have quadrupled, and more.
Worse, he informed me tonigh that he likes being annoying. Apparently “it’s fun!”.
Yeah, how’s this for fun, kiddo! He sat on the stairs for ages, ate his dinner on the stairs and was refused tomato sauce (the staple of all children’s diets) because we refused to take it to him, and if he set one foot off the stairs, there would be big trouble.
But the talking – the incessant gibberish – continued. On and on and on and on and one. We tried reasoning. We tried explaining. We got angry. We threatened all kinds of things. He got more verbal and more annoying.
We resorted to “Shut Up, you so annoying!” the famous quote from Julian, the self-professed king of the lemurs from the Madagascar movie.
Finally, I had it.
I was going to tape his mouth up. Literally. Not just threaten or pretend. This was the last resort. I had to shut him up before someone was seriously injured or went completely insane.
Don’t you just hate it when you can’t find the masking tape when you really need it?