Chippie was Dressed By Daddy this morning.
Please note the careful selection of socks; lime green and bottle green in alternating horizontal stripes to sit with the navy blue, deep red and light grey shoes.
The socks themselves feature bright yellow and orange tractor, however this is obscured from view due to the socks, designed to fold over, not being folded over and, instead, being hoiked up as high as possible.
This draws the eye to the one-size-too-big-fally-down-pants – technically “board shorts” – in an off white, and pattered with circles of duck egg blue, light navy, rusty red and olive green.
The tie to hold the pants up is, of course, undone and hanging down.
The overall look is completed with a long sleeved t-shirt, for the 25 degree Celsuis plus day, in royal blue, with white sleeves, with a lurid yellow Mr Happy decal.
As an aside, this alleged “Mr Happy” is also possessed by the Ironic Demon, and has the tendency to cause my 3 year old to have more screaming, crying tantrums than when he is clothed in any other top, of any description.
I kid you not.
Many other mothers would be rolling their eyes and saying “Oh, I hear ya! My husband does the same!” and partake in some gentle, humorous, husband-bashing-banter so we all feel normal.
Unfortunately, this getup was not like this. It was well-thought out and constructed by my Dearly Beloved.
That it closely resembles, only worse, something he could easily have put together just by Being A Father, is merely coincidence.
It is a deliberate act designed to incite me to roll my eyes and mutter what the fuck is he wearing? Apparently, this is because I mutter this at every point in our children’s lives when he has had input into their donning of clothes, so “I might as well do it if I’m going to be accused of it.”
Fairy nuff, too.
So, I’ve stopped saying it now. In fact, I haven’t said it for six years.
He hasn’t …