Fridge Frustrations

We’ve now been without a working refrigerator in the house for something like two weeks.

A majority of the wine has been displaced from The Other Fridge; that which resides at the back of the garage and used primarily for the storage and chilling of wine and beer, as well as freezer storage for excess meat, which a family of five, such as ours, requires.

It is unsuitable for standard fridge-iness, due to it’s size, and simply does not cater for our needs terribly well. Other than, obviously, being relegated to the back of the garage and doing the most marvellous job of storing and chilling wine and beer, and keeping meats for future meals in a suitable state cryogenic state.

Whilst manageable for a period of time, the drudgery of ambling the length of the house, out the back door, down the steps and to the back of the garage to retrieve and/or replace items such as milk, yogurt and cheese is staring to wear thin.

In fact, over the last few days we have seen an exponential increase of the use of words like “Can’t he do it?!” and “But I did it last time, it’s not FAIR!”. Tempers are fraying and we are verging on drinking our coffee, free of milk, and eating our cereal crunchy. We are at increased risk of developing some sort of osteoporotic disease, due to significant reduction of intake of dairy foods, and constipation due to lack of fruit and vegetable intake.

Some of this reduction in fruit and veg intake is due to decreased purchase of all foods, because I am reluctant to do A Big Shop whilst we have such insufficient and malfunctioning storage.

The ‘malfunctioning’ component, also contributing to the lack of vegetable thing, is that The Other Fridge is freezing everything. Carrots, celery, cucumber, beans, lettuce, tomato …

This leaves a giant hole in those things I like to include in school lunchboxes, and is increasing the need for the cooking of stews and casseroles; the only things you can use vegetables frozen in this manner in and get away with it.

Thus the weekend saw a journey to the local electrical appliance warehouses, where I thought my frustrations regarding fridges would cease.

Alas, they were only exaggerated further.

You see, I just want a fridge that taste like real milk.

(Apologies; this is our family’s response to things when were are confronted with far too many choices, none of which suit our needs adequately enough.)

We are also moving in some month’s time (quite a few months, so don’t get excited) and the timing of The Dying Fridge is, quite frankly, shit. We don’t know exactly the measurements for the fridge cavity in the currently being built place, although we’ve managed to extract some numbers from the developer.

Really, I just want a fridge that is big enough to suit our family, fit 3 litre containers of milk (several at a time) and be deep enough and wide enough for my Tupperware Fridge Thingoes.

I don’t necessarily want a fridge that gives me a cold drink of water. I prefer to be able to utilise the space that this, in my opinion, superfluous “feature” of modern day fridges takes up. Besides, this feature also requires the fridge to be “plumbed” and, well, you know, there’s this other feature in a kitchen called A Tap, which is already plumbed, comes standard in most Western kitchens and from where I can get my water, should I choose to. Better still, it comes with a catch all, know commonly as a Kitchen Sink, so that should some kind of accident or spillage occur, the water is contained and doesn’t end up all over the kitchen floor, awaiting someone who gives a shit to clean it up.

I don’t want a fridge, dotted with Swarovski crystals. No, really, I don’t.

Yes, it looks pretty and possibly matches a pair of shoes I once coveted, but I don’t need bling on my fridge.

I just want a fridge that behaves like a fridge.

I’m not expecting it to vacuum or feed the cats, or even iron. Although, that would be really lovely.

I just want a fridge. And I want it now.

Yet … I must wait for someone to deign to get back to me with the dimensions I

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