I did have a moment of panic a few days ago, after feeding Herman the German Friendship Cake his first feed on day four.
He didn’t look terribly, well, vivacious or energetic. His bubbling had come to a standstill, and the instructions explicitly stated that if he stopped bubbling, he was dead.
Still, I’m a bit of a ‘wait and see’ kind of person, and figured if I just covered it up and pretended everything was okay and that I hadn’t really killed it, then all would be well with the world.
Denial can be handy at times.
Also – I killed a frigging blob of cake mix. Yay, me!
Surely there’s an award for that somewhere?
I did gather enough courage to check him out later that day and – phew! – despite my attempts, he had survived. A miracle!
We both make it through the next few days without much trauma or disaster. We even made it to the point of the second feeding and the divvying up of cake mix to distribute to friends or family or whomever I could convince to take on some live cake mix.
I seconded a friend and made plans for the delicate exchange.
Which is when things got a little weird.
Monkey Boy, suddenly interested in the idea of Herman and his Friendshipness, started making some serious enquiries.
It was a conspiracy, he decided, on the cake’s behalf. The aim of the cake was to ensure it was spread as far around the community, if not the country, or even the WORLD!, and it would rise up – quite literally, it would seem – and take over.
It would, with all its little minion-y type cake mix blobs, enable some sort of widespread Yeast Uprising, with all the blobs, now spread across our fair land, coming together and forming one great big blob.
It wasn’t really friendly at all! Instead, it is some sort of evil psychopath that is going to kill us all, smothering us in festering, yeasty, cakeyness and become Overlord of the Universe.
Although, really, I’m not entirely convinced that some people would be miffed about being Killed by Cake.
My friend’s daughter, the only recipient I had for the evil, uprising, cake mix blob, agreed with Monkey Boy.
The two were a little disinclined to facilitate this Blob and its wicked and evil plans.
Thus, I was left to take matters into my own hands.
With the three remaining blobs, I fed two of them some more; one got apple and sultana, and the other frozen raspberries. I mixed them about with a few other bits and pieces as per the instructions, and placed them in a hot oven.
Yeah, that should teach them!
I have managed to prevent two of the blobs from taking part in this evil conspiracy to eliminate all humans from this earth. Except. possibly, those the Yeast Blob chooses to keep as slaves or something.
The third … well, I’m keeping it as my pet for the next ten days. It may give me some leverage with Monkey Boy, allowing me to remind him that I can unleash a tide of sticky, smelly horridness upon him if he is a smartarse to me again.
Also, there’s something a little satisfying about raising a pet to the point that you can turn it into cake.
Not, say, pet cows or sheep or anything like that. I’m not sure I could cope with that … but cake … yeah, I can do a pet cake.