Friends or Babies – Choose!

Traipsing about on social media the other night, ‘spending time’ with my kids as they forced upon me yet another movie I had zero interest in and getting all twitchy about my world changing To Do List that lay upon my desk, ignored, I stumbled upon an image that caused me to become … well, more than a little pissed off.

(Yes, I’m also well aware this may appear to be in complete contradiction to my previous posts about ‘not being the target’ for such memes etc)

Given we, as mothers, are regularly bombarded with the “Give 100% of yourself to your child” and “If your baby cries, go to him, go to him without delay” (said with the utmost of love and gentleness – and no, I’m not being facetious, the intent is beautiful) my first reaction to this was “Fuck. OFF!”

Because, really, I think it is

4 Replies to “Friends or Babies – Choose!”

  1. I have more great friends now that I have kids! Was very much a lonely geek through my youth and 20s, isolating myself even more by moving interstate, and it wasn’t until I met other awesome mums out being awesome (as well as feeling lonely, isolated, friendless, overwhelmed) that I found my ladies. I think online communities have been amazing for women like me who might have initially struggled to approach other mums. I can also give credit to the Child & Youth Health program in South Australia for running “getting to know your baby” groups for first-timers. The parents I met there are now my closest friends, our kids have grown up like cousins, and 7 years on we have settled into a comfortable rhythm of checking up on each other, checking in, going away for weekends without the kids, and generally supporting each other through the shit life dishes up.
    So yeah, I get what the meme says, but it can fuck right off!

  2. Completely agree Amanda, having a support network of friends around you is hugely important. I suffered post natal depression after both my kids were born, and the missing element was “me time” – as pointed out by a psychologist the first time. Luckily I spotted the signs second time around, and made the necessary adjustments. But it’s hard, especially when you’re a first time mum, to remember that you’re still a person and need to have a life too. I’m a firm believer in “Happy mum, happy child”!

    Having kids also opens up new friendships. I’ve made several new friends who were members of my baby group.

    1. I’m sorry you suffered PND, Bridie. It’s hard. Am glad you made some good friends out of all your experiences though.

      I think some of my best friends came out of my lowest moments – and they’re awesome! 🙂

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