Grumpy has been working tirelessly on our garden the last few days.
After five years of “we really need to put some plants in” etc.
I agreed to help him with it all, today. After first attending the first basketball game of the new season (thankfully at a slightly later time this morning) and collectimg Monkey Boy from gymnastics. And having a lunch of BLTs.
Then it was off to Bunnings to select some plants and trees to plant in various places at the front of our house. This required the Entourage of Offspring to accompany us. Which is always
really fucking painful and annoying fun.
I sent Monkey Boy and Godzilla off on an important mission to locate a trolley. Which had the added bonus of getting them out of our hair so we could look. Or, is that the other way around.
We choose some plants, and, after much advising them to stop fucking around with the trolley and get off it NOW, we’ve only asked you seven times, we loaded them (the plants) onto the cart.
Chippie, meanwhile, was confronted by a snail, which had blocked his path, and has set about loudly squishing it. Well, techinically “squishing” is an understatement. Repeatedly smashing his foot onto it until it was an unrecognisable smear on the ground is probably a more apt description of what transpired.
But snails can be evil like that. Chippie has crossed them before.
Unfortunatley, I was too late to save the snail. In fact, by the time I heard his scream and raced from the isle over, the snail was at the unrecognisable point and I had to look several times to work out what it was. Or had been.
Decide it is a good time to leave, and we push the loaded trolley to the checkout, pay and leave as subltly as possible, what with repeating 85 times “Get. Off. The. Trolley. Now!” and “Please watch what you’re doing” as we cross the car park. Grumpy has buggered off with at lesat one, possibly two of the kids for something he’s forgotten and I load the car up and return the trolley. Attempt to shove it into the trolley bay, when Chippie crawls out from underneath.
Um. Whoops. I forgot we had left him there.
Arrive home, discover we need another load of plants that we had completely forgotten due to other distractions. Plant what we have, manage to soak entire left side of my body when I unplug the hose from the tap that someone had left turned on, and am suitable wet and filthy.
Just perfect for heading off to Bunnigns, again, to purchase the stuff we forgot earlier.