Monkey Boy; sensitive, compassionate, caring.
He has, of late, embarked upon the “you love him more than me” thing.
It strated a few years back but has increasingly become more prevalent. Last year, I loved Godzilla more than him, because we’d end up yelling and upset with each other, whereas, with Godzilla, I didn’t.
That it was becuase when I said to Godzilla “stop” he would cheerily state “Ok” and skip off into Fairy Land. Monkey Boy, on the other hand, would keep going, only worse and with an added air of Let’s See How Far I Can Push Her, until I was pushed as far as could be pushed and exploded. And it went on a bit longer and so on and so forth … Total Proof of how much I didn’t love him. Obviously.
So much so that we took to saying things like “We’re taking him to basketball this morning, because it is when he has a game on. Out of our control. Sorry. Also, we love him more than you.”
It’s lots of fun.
Today was the regular Visit To The Dentist. By regular, I mean, when we can find the time and things are getting scary.
After securing a suitably timed appointment, it was thrown into chaos by Grumpy’s work, another appointment was secured, and Grumpy’s work attempted to sabotage it again. The result was a shitful time to go to the dentist, and ulitmately they got the day off school.
Monkey Boy’s appointment was as to be expected.
Chippie refused to open his mouth for approximately 27 minutes, during which time he did his patented roar/snarl/hiss at the dental assistant, which indicates he is seriously pissed off and not going to cooperate at all. As he roared/snarled/hissed he realised he did, indeed, flash his teeth and clammed up some more. When he did eventually conceded and open up, he then refused to close his mouth.
Godzilla’s was a little more complex and we were advised we needed some x-rays of his teeth. Nothing major, just some x-rays before proceeding. Another appointment at another time. Oh, this should be fun securing this one!
We’re handed the forms for the x-ray and a bill for 75 bazillion dollars, and head home. Then its a walk up the street for the x-rays for Godzilla.
And the “how come he’s having x-rays done?” “but why does he need them?” “who was that that just rang you?” “what did they want?” “I know it was someone ringing on your phone to speak to you [cue eye rolling], but who was it?” “so how come he has to have x-rays done?” “that’s not fair” “he gets everything”
“Yes, that’s because we love him more than you,” I reply.
Then book him in for some unnecessary root canal treatment and removal of his wisdom teeth, just to prove how much I love him.
[was that ‘eye rollilng’ from me]????