I Can't Get No Satisfaction

After what seemed like days, but upon looking at the clock was only a mere 7 minutes, of hearing “mum, mum, mum, mum, mum” from the five-year-old I made the attempt to channel his focus.

“Let’s do some puzzles!” I suggest.

Because what could possibly go wrong there.

All the puzzles we own are Disney Pixar, dinosaur or Thomas the Tank Engine themed, and most consist of 48 pieces or fewer.

I used to love a good puzzle; one that required much concentration and brain power. I loaned those to a friend who was laid up with a foot injury some years – many years – ago, and they were never returned. So Woody, Jessie and Buzz it was, because that one featured over 100 pieces and would, in theory, take longer.

We did start with a smaller one – the Lion King (48 largish pieces) which we did together and finished.

Completed and nothing to do but look at it, we packed it up and I grabbed the smaller, more complex, many-pieced jigsaw.

Chippie started on it with me, mostly by climbing all over me and sitting on the pieces as I was trying to unmuddle them and turn them all the right way up.

Bored once the corner pieces were located, he grabbed some LEGO dinosaurs that had made their way into our house and commenced his “mum, mum, mum, mum, mum” ramblings again. To break it up a little, he also had me being attacked by LEGO dinosaurs between his “mum, mum, mum, mum, mum”.

I kept my hands and mind busy via the matching up of jigsaw piece.

Grumpy returned earlier and I breathed a small sigh of relief.

He looked at me over the head of my “mum, mum, mum, mum, mumming” child.

Then he laughed.


He endured a mere “dad” and went for a shower. Upon his emerging, Chippie tried again.

“Dad,” he barely gets out.

“Mum wants you,” The Grumpy Fucker Bastard Arseface says.

“Mum, mum, mum, mum, mum,” says Chippie.

Grumpy Fucker Bastard laughs again.

Cheeky fuck.

The jigsaw puzzle is near completion by this point. There are three pieces to go and I am feeling a sense of completion and satisfaction.

“Mum, mum, mum, mum, mum,” says Chippie. “Oh, you nearly finish it. Good job.”

Then proceeds to pick up the final – and most satisfying – piece and finish the puzzle.

Immediately upon completing

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