I don’t know how you do it!
Ah, a phrase I hear quite a lot.
A phrase I heard from some of the other members of my First Time Mother’s Group when I started uni (my first time! I really had grown up! Or had I??), and did the odd Fill In When A Waitress Called In Sick at hubby’s business. Oh, yeah, with a new baby.
I heard it more when baby number two added to the mix.
And when I started realmums.com.au, and did a stint as kinder Parents & Friends Committee President, and made cakes for the cake stalls.
What prompted a more recent spate of “I don’t know how you do its” was a blog post I did back in May, over at Reality Parenting – 19 Days … a reflection
Or, if you prefer, here is the slideshow review 🙂
I’m not bragging. Nor do I think I’m particularly special or unique or anything remarkable.
I still have the ocassional meltdown and tantrum.
I don’t have a nanny or cleaner. I bloody well need one! Or seven. But I don’t. Yes, my house is a mess. One of my good friends called it “homely, and like you can sit down without worrying about touching anything”. I think she was genuine and not just being nice.
Anyhoo, people keep asking “How do you do it?”
So, I’m letting you in on all my little secrets. In stages, because I am very busy and am wearing a towel, and don’t want to overwhelm you with the complexity and extremely difficult things you need to implement in your life in order to be able to “do stuff”.
Nah, joking – its all easy. I can’t be arsed doing hard stuff … but I do do stuff.
So, Part 1 of how I do it…
I have a collection of awesome, inspiring women around me. I have great friends. I accept that each of my friends, without diminishing anything about them, has a role in my life. I know which ones will give me what I need at any given time. I know which ones are not the go to person for a particular situation, but are perfect for others. I don’t expect any of them to be someone, or to do something they’re not.
I have a safe place I know, without question, I can go to, online, to rant and rave and receive the support I need, to share my successes and have a bunch of friends support me and be happy for me and celebrate with me, I can speak and won’t be judges, I can share my stories or experience or advice and know it will be received with the intention with which it was given, even if it’s crappy advice.
In short, I have a safe haven to go to when I need, for good or bad, for failures and successes, to laugh and to cry.
Sure, I did create it, but I didn’t expect the community – no, the family (only it’s one of those really nice families where everyone is cool, and loves each other) – that the members created. It. Is. Awesome.
I have great friends there. And I also talk … about anything I need to.
How I do it, is I talk, share, and connect with others. Not just any others; absolutley fabulous others.
And I have others I know I can go to, for the things I need, when I need them, for the purpose I need.
That is just one of the things that helps me “do it”.
How do you have?