I don't think we have enough in the way of Feminine Hygiene Products

It was whilst I was undergoing a routine pap smear of recent times that it occurred to me that we really don’t have enough in the way of Feminine Hygiene Products.

I guess I let my mind wander during these times, to take it off my nether regions.

Clearly, this strategy failed, to a degree.

(Also, go and have your pap smeared! Ring your GP and book it in now! There’s my community service announcement for today.)

Of course, we must also stray away from words that state exactly what’s going on; words like ‘pads’ and ‘tampons’ and ‘vagina’ and the odd ‘twat’ or similar.

That would be offensive.

Not, of course, as offensive as some of the horribleness that happens around the vagina. Whoops, sorry!

Around your ‘beaver’ – an Americanism I haven’t heard since the mid-1980s, until a company recently saw fit to include it in their advertising for an Australian audience. Many, it seems, who had no idea of the connection. What a surprise.

Or your ‘vajayjay’.

If I may digress slightly, I do really abhor some of the ‘words’ that have been made up to use in place of the word ‘vagina’. Whilst we’re calling it like it is, really, these words are only invented so as to have those apparently, self-declared classy and sophisticated women retain the appearance of being classy and sophisticated when what they are

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