I feel so inadequate right now

I really am feeling completely useless and inadequate right now.

And sad. Very sad. Not a depressive sad. it’s ok. I’m ok. Just sad.

You see, I received an email the other day for a “parenting” site. One who supports parents and has lots of useful tips and ideas and the like. It”s what set me off this time.

Of course, this isn’t the first time I’ve been on this particular rant, nor the first time I’ve felt inadequate after receiving similar emails or visiting similar sites or reading similarly inclined parenting magazines or books.

What started it was treats to tempt fussy eaters, followed immediately by a picture and recipe for “ice cube sushi”. I kid you not. Complete with salmon and roe (do you even know what roe is? I didn’t till I was about 34. And I’d been married to a chef for 5 years by then) and thinly sliced shallots (I had to look it up). I’m still not kidding.

This particular rant is not a rant about fussy eaters, although Ido have

9 Replies to “I feel so inadequate right now”

  1. Hi Amanda! LOVE your post!!!! What’s so funny is that I really dislike cooking and preparing meals, Enormously, But I love my kids, and I love to feed them things that are good for them. I combined my obsession with providing them healthy lunches with my need to get OUT of the kitchen, fast, and created http://www.EasyLunchboxes.com – an eco-friendly and affordable lunchbox system to help you pack lunches FAST. I created it simply for that reason. But now that I’ve been in business a year, I have met all these AMAZING moms who specialize in exactly what you’re writing about – making the most fantastically, fabulous lunches for their kids, basically putting the rest of us to shame, lol. But here’s how I look at it- they’re ‘crafters’. Except that the medium they work in is FOOD. Of course they want to exhibit it to the world, and it is truly wonderful. But then there are the rest of us normal folk who put in exactly what you put in – basic, decent, nutrition that isn’t really all that worthy of a blog post or picture, but it certainly gets the job done!
    No need to feel intimidated Amanda. There are WAY more of us, than the arty ‘crafter’ lunch moms.
    AND, there are WAY less of us who write as well and as humorously as you. …Now I’m intimidated 😉

  2. That’s a great post. There are so many things to feel inadequate about and each of us have our favourites. Mine is feeling inadequate about keeping on top of the housework and washing.

    But this post also brought up my memories of when the first of our 3 kids started preschool. A friend up the road had her child starting school too. We both talked about the fact that our 3 and4 year olds liked eating sushi. So, starry-eyed, we made a deal. She would make sushi one week for them and I would make sushi for them in the alternate week.

    Great arrangement. Except for the part where you have to also look after other kids, buy the ingredients in advance, get up earlier and make sure the sushi is acceptable to the child in the other family.

    This great arrangement lasted 2 weeks.

    Now my kids have Vegemite, Cheese, Ham, Cream Cheese and the occasional left over – and all that other crackery, fruity, vegetably stuff you mentioned above. I don’t feel inadequate. I feel sane. On reflection, however, I was insane when our first child started preschool.

    I am jealous – I wish we were allowed to send peanut butter sandwiches to our primary school. I’m not taking up your idea of the floor sweepings though …

  3. Oh for fucks sake, there is nothing wrong with Vegemite sandwiches -in fact it is a good idea because your children will grow up appreciating “Special Food”. (However I do draw the line at Marmite sandwiches – seriously what does my mother-in-law think!!)

    If it is Ice Cube Fucking Sushi for lunch – what’s for dinner? No wonder there are so many fussy eaters out there!! Not to mention kids who have an unhealthy relationship with food! And what do you do for a special occasion!

    Jeez – my kids only ever get two choices – take it or leave it!

  4. Jo – I’m the same. I’m not the one who spends the day hungry – meh

    Kelly, thank you. I’m not intimidated – more overwhelmed. And frustrated.

    Yvette – we have the peanut butter issue at our school as well. Totally nut free. Except for my kids, they’re nuts yet they still let them in the school. What can you do.

    Love your deal – made me chuckle 🙂

  5. One of my kids in particular was starting to request outlandish things (defined as anything other than nutella or peanut paste or jam sandwiches) in her lunch. I told the kids, go for broke, I’ll provide all ingredients, make whatever your heart desires.

    They’ve been making their own lunches for the last 5 years now.

    Normally peanut paste sandwiches. Sometimes jam or nutella. Ham sandwiches if they’re feeling like something particularly outlandish.

  6. What you’re packing your kids is MILES ahead of most of the lunches I see at my younger son’s school AND the school where I work. I’m watching kids sucking back Mother and Red Bull. One kid has (seriously) three or four handfuls of freddo frogs and savoury shapes (no actual food). Your lunches have reall food, vitamins etc.

    But ice cube sushi! This is like those parents who say “Oh, your son is NOT enrolled into Kumon?” “Oh, you DON’T force your eight-year old son to do 45 minutes homework each night?” “Oh, your son DOES play shooting games on x-box?” … Yep, all of that’s true. And he’s a kid I’m proud of. 🙂

    Besides, sushi is revolting, let’s be honest.

  7. Another great post, you are awesome.

    I have been for the past month teaching my 6 and 4 year olds how to make their own lunch so i dont have to do it.. i really hate having to come up with what to put in there… and i make the 6yo (almost 7) not only do it but also get all the stuff out of the cupboard – AND put it back away again. (sure i am monitoring at this stage) but my plan is he can do it himself SOON- i figure its a habit he can learn.

    my rule is he can put on his sandwich whatever he wants… and often takes a carrot or cheese as MT.. he loves it and i love it cause i have released myself of that whole thing… he makes himself gourmet sandwiches somedays and other days vegemite. 🙂 whatever works i say . too many things other things to worry about other than how much vegemite he eats … when gets to be a teenager / adult …. he will be eating so much crap it will probably cancel itself all out anyway … i guess the theory could be said that if he is able to choose himself what he likes and semi healthy food he might make good choices in the future.. if so great… if not .. i dont think if i made ice cube sushi it would change that issue regardless!!!! 🙂

  8. Love this post! I am sick and tired of feeling inadequate. When did school lunches turn in to a competition? Why are there schools out there that check every lunch box and send things back like home made cakes with nasty little letters about nutrition?? (this has happened to a friend of mine, it was a banana muffin FFS)

    Leave mothers alone, most of us are doing the best we can. My kids take a sandwich (ok, they take a wrap because miss9 refuses to eat sandwiches, but there’s nothing special in there!) for lunch and some sort of cake/slice/biscuit/cracker thing for MT. Nope, there is NO fruit in their lunch boxes, I am such an evil mother. They won’t eat the damn fruit at school cause it’s warm and slimy by then and I can’t blame them for it! They eat fruit at home. SO THERE lunchbox police!!!

    I am feeling totally inadequate today. I have been judged for leaving kids in the bath alone, for not getting up at 6.00 with hubby and making him lunch even though i am a sahm, for not reading to my children enough, for being a sahm, for not keeping my house clean and tidy enough, and that’s before bloody 10am. I AM SICK OF IT, and your blog is my little bit of sanity!

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