If I ignore it will it go away? Or do I need to call in Pest Control?

Early night, only three wakeups before 6am and all boys in our bed by 7.07am.

I get up, get MUG, check emails, ignore what sounds like herd of rather large beasts thundering down hall, but is only Chippie and Godzilla, ignore Grumpy grumbling his way past my office door. Something about “coffee” but I have mine so not really sure why he’s offering to get it for me.

(Unless … no, surely not. He couldn’t be asking me if I’ve poured his could he? Because I don’t, like, every morning?!)

Try, but fail, to ignore the very loud “Come and help me,” followed by some giggling coming from up the hall.

It persists.

He knows the rules. I must have a full and complex run down of the situation before I will consider getting my arse of my office chair and assess the situation myself. Many I time I have been called away to witness something I have seen a million times over and have no real desire to witness anytime soon; Chippie picking his nose or saying “bum”, Godzilla’s penis or bum, Monkey Boy wedging himself under/in/on something, where I have no means to “rescue” him as I am laughing so hard my pelvic floor is having a conniption.

After several more “come and help me’s” I commence the “NO!” response. He deigns to enlighten my slightly by yelling “Come and help this poor little snake.” I stick my head out the door and find him “slithering” rather lumpishly down the hall. He requests I help him down the stairs, but I can’t because I am shaking my head and returning to my desk, muttering “you’re an idiot” under my breath.

He accuses me of being evil and nasty to poor little snakes.

Yes. Yes, I am. But only the really loud, annoying ones, with two arms and too legs.

He asks Grumpy to put on some toast for him. Grumpy refused. I think, also, based on the limb-ness of alleged snake.

Also, possibly, its loudness and levels of obnoxiousness.

Monkey Boy gives up, makes his own toast, complains about our lack of willingness to aid said snake, and is rendered silent when I advise him I would really love to have helped, but I don’t understand parseltongue.

Get through remainder of morning’s activities and routine without need to learn entirely new language or call in pest control. So that was nice.

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