I'm firty seven – I'm no' old!

Here I was thinking I was still cool.

I was invited to my niece’s 18th! Hooray!

I love parties. And to be invited to an 18th is pretty special indeed.

Sadly, it was the family party. Not ‘sadly’ because it was family (although …) but I was really up for a night of getting blind drunk and dancing around like I was the best dancer in the world. As you do when you’re blind drunk.

Of course, what with breastfeeding and all, I get to be designated driver, the blind drunk bit was out of the question. But I can still convince myself I’m a pretty good dancer, even when drinking tonic water with a slice of lemon. Or lime. Sans gin or vodka.


But there was to be a nice chilled chardonnay, a civilised sit-at-the-table-meal,

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