It Could Be Worse!

The school holidays can test our strengths – and our limits – push us to the brink, allow us to discover how creative we are (or aren’t) and put us well and truly out of routine.

Like just about every other week of they year, they bring out the rants and raves, complaints and blahs, and mehs and the rest of it, just in greater volume at these times of the year.

Inevitably, this leads to some kind of Competition, where each commenter aims to one-up the original complainant and those who followed.

If Life, generally, also happens to be shit, the stories get more competitive and “You think that’s bad, you should try my life” because, although unspoken, it appears to be completely forbidden for anyone to be able just to be having a crap day or a hard time at any given moment.

Too much – all relative and dependant on any given persons given definition of ‘too much’ – of this and you start to get the “I don’t know what you’re complaining about I/my neighbour/my best friend/my uncle’s sisters budgie has it worse!”

Also, whilst I’m here, “you should be grateful!”

Why are we not afforded the luxury of allowing ourselves to wallow just a little? To ‘sit with’ the stuff that’s going on and be sad for a moment? Or angry, or frustrated or melancholy or any of these kinds of feelings? Surely these are legitimate feelings that all humans experience at some level at some point in their lives?

I’m not suggesting you wallow to the point that it is how you just live your life, that you experience none of the good or positive feelings, nor allow this sad or angry or frustrated to dictate your life. If you’re constantly feeling like this, change your perception if you can, or get the help you need, whatever it is you need.

I don’t understand why a person can’t just feel a little down (or a lot down) and why it all must turn into a competition or be completely dismissed because “someone has it worse”.

Your stuff is your stuff, and it is different to everyone else’s stuff and sometimes there is no comparison.

Absolutely thinking “They have it worse than me” can be your motivation to get on with life and put a smile on your face, but it doesn’t mean your stuff isn’t relevant or invalid. It so totally is valid and very, very real to you.

It’s also perfectly ok and, I believe, important and healthy to acknowledge it, ‘sit with it’ and feel it. To dismiss it, for many, can send you into an even blacker, deeper place that is difficult to get out of.

Your stuff isn’t any better – or worse – than anyone else’s, it just is and it is just yours.

To suggest you can’t feel bad or be sad because someone else is worse off is, to me, like saying you can’t be happy because someone else is happier!

Saying-you-cant-feel-bad-because

Stop comparing, own the stuff that’s going on with you and be okay with feeling how you are. It’s okay.

3 Replies to “It Could Be Worse!”

  1. Amen sister!
    I like to look on the bright side of life, I like to acknowledge how lucky I am.
    I also have lots of stuff that makes me sad, worried, angry, sad, and really really sad. When it gets too much I allow myself to wallow in my sadness. Acknowledge that my feelings are real and relevant to me. I let the important people around me know I’m sad. Those who love me best know that I need to wallow a while and then I can go on to living in the brighter side of life.
    The sadness is always with me, and I know how much more others have to deal with, but allowing myself to FEEL sad makes happy so much better.

  2. Completely agree with the idea of the right to wallow. I recently separated from my husband and was astonished at the number of people who thought after the obligatory few weeks feeling down and out, that it’s all ‘up and at em’ and on to a wonderful new life. After all, the separation was my idea.

    I defend my god-given right to wallow for as long as I need to in my small, personal problems. Especially if that time down and out is the first part of regaining your happiness.

Leave a Reply