It was never a good idea

Swimming lessons after school day which means, for me, an extra two hours of work time.


Children and husband arrive home, the oldest and the youngest with Chuppa Chups in their mouths and the middlest seeming – and thankfully – oblivious to this fact.

Much frowning and dispersing of That Look by me.

Its not so much that I mind them having lollypops, I’m not that anal about what they eat, but that they a) have one and I don’t and b) I have this thing about kids running around backyards with lollypops in their mouths and it really freaks me out. I mean really freaks me out!

I can barely cope.

They fiinished them soon enough and ate and bathed and then, for some reason unbeknownst to me, they are then out in the backyard, in their jarmies and I can hear much screaming. MUCH screaming.

And, it appears, Chippie has learnt a new word. That being “lollypop”. Previously he just used to hold his hand out and scream, or say “urgh”. Now he is capable of scremaing the word “lollypop”.

Even more bewildering is what I discover when I walk out to see what the rucus is. Well, bewildering, in fact, that I even bothered to do this, as we all know it’s not going to be anything I want to know about or deal with.

I digress; my bewildering discovery is the fact that Monkey Boy is wandering around the backyard, or, more accurately, away from Chippie, licking a lollypop larger than his own head. Actually, it was verging on being bigger than the three heads combined. The lollypop he was given by a friend several months ago and shoved at the back of the cupboard. You know that thing where you say “I’ll just put it here, because you’re not having it now” with the full intent of tossing it out (or eating it yourself) when they’re not looking and after a period of time that you’re fairly certain ensures they have forgotten about it.

Only we’d forgotten to toss it and Grumpy gave it to him.

Bewildering, as I mentioned.

So, here we have it … three children, in their jarmies, running around the backyard and fighting over a lollypop that is larger than their heads combined.

I think I’ll just get back to doing something to distract me from feeling stabby.

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