Its no wonder

am Woke up with a sore throat this morning.

Its no wonder i did, what with yesterdays efforts. God I hate school holidays.

Its worse now. I spent the morning asking Monkey Boy to stop stirring his brother, then asking him to get his shoes on so he could come for a walk with me.

After 5 times asking, 2 telling and one screaming, I draggged him along for a walk anyway, sans shoes.

Sometimes you gotta be a bitch when necessary.

An uncaring bitch, because when he said he wanted his shoes I made him tell me at which point I was supposed to think that he did – the time when he was in the toy room taking things from his brother or the time he was chasing his brother around the house.

I told him that if he was tired and grumpy it was not ok to annoy me, his brother or his dad, and did he understand.

The response – “I never annoyed Daddy, I didn’t get around to it.”

AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Damn, that hurt my throat!

Then had to stop the stupidity and stirring and just plain being annoying, I had to say “Hey, leave them alone. They’re just kids. You’re the adult. Start behaving like one.”

Grumpy doesn’t like it when I speak with him like that, but for fucks sake saying “no I didn’t, you did” to a three year old is not conducive to anything.

I then had to sit and explain the point of effective communication, and how they may all use it to speak with one another and how it may actually be of benefit to everyone.

Me included – ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Nope, that hurts throat too.

Book club tonight. A good chardy may just do the trick.

pm Grumpy finally could no longer cope and went off to his school to attempt to get some homework done.

How is it that Mums can continue working to the backdrop of bloodcurdling screams without hearing them – even when blood is involved – yet Dads just can’t seem to focus if there is so much as a 3 year old in a 10k radius?

Anyhoo, off he went.

Then I realised, after the kids had been “relaxing” in front of Bob the Builder for an hour, that I still had one chapter of the book to read.

What were my chances of getting them to sit quietly whilst I concluded the reading?

Hmm, probably none!

Cleared the bed of folded washing, anyway, with the aid of said offspring. Upon attempting to take kitchen stuff back to kitchen, down the hall, I reached the 3 stairs in the middle of the hall and found myself flat on my bum and in a significant amount of pain.

Youch!

Ever the carer, Monkey Boy says “Mummy, are you ok? You fell down the stairs.”

Yes thank you, Einstein.

“Are you ok? Would you like to play a game? Or should I put a movie DVD on?”

“Um, no, hurting, give me a minute.” And you can’t see the TV from the bottom of the stairs, which is probably a good thing to know.

After some time, the pain eased slightly and I was able to move to get the phone and ring Grumpy to find out how much longer I’d have to be containing the kids before he got home.

Ever the wise one, Monkey Boy asks “Are you ringing, Daddy? He will just laugh!”

Spot on, kiddo, that’s exactly what he did.

On the upside, I was able to convince the kids to lie still in bed whilst I completed the book for the evenings discussion.

I’m really looking forward to that chardy now.

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