I know I usually write for Mum, but today, this one is for the kids … although I do hope you get something out of it, too 🙂
So, kids, are you getting bored yet? Being on school holidays and all? Here’s a few things you can do to keep the holidays FUN!
Only a few days ago you would have worn your Mum down and forced her to go an see a movie that she could quite happily have missed, particularly as she had an extremely busy day with heaps of things that were higher on her priority list than a film written entirely for pre-adolescent boys. You may not have realised this, but you caused her to become stressed. She hides it well, doesn’t she? Cheeky thing.
This is where it gets fun, because she’s organised a bunch of people over, and you taking her out of the house means that it remains looking like a bomb site. Nice one. This’ll add to the stress, affecting her immune system. So, she’s gotta get the house tidy. Fun starts here; bugger off to your room and start building a heap of Lego stuff and making more mess.
When she asks you to help tidy up, just go do something else. Before long, she’ll be yelling a lot. See if you can get her to yell different stuff.
Other fun activities are seeing how long it takes before she yells again, and count how many times she says “fuck”. Set up a competition with your brother to see who can be most obstinate and/or unable to see things in front of your eyes. The winner is the one who can’t spot the dining room table.
Although, given the amount of shit on it, it might very well be hard to find anyway. See how you go.
She’ll be feeling pretty crappy about now, but don’t worry, the next day you can have even more fun!
Start the morning off by waking her at some stupid hour. No, not with a freshly brewed coffee, but by letting her know that the toddler has broken the abacas and there are a hundered beads lying around the house. Given he freaked her out the other night when he stuck a chicken bone up his nose, she’ll really go nuts with worry about him shoving a bead up his left nostril, or choking on one.
At which point, she’ll discover she has laryngitis. The fun really begins now. You can answer everything she says to you with “I can’t hear you” and not do anything she asks. Even the stuff you know you have to do and she shouldn’t have to remind you about.
Then commence a long-haul, incessant “Can so and so come for a sleepover tonight?” She’ll tell you “no” because she’s not feeling well and can’t talk. Don’t let this stop you. Even go to the point of ringing one of your friends and asking them. Watch her try to talk to him and then his mother. At the very least, an alternate date will be set.
Time to put a DVD on, really loudly, and when it’s nearly finished, ask if you can play the Wii. Really loudly. You wont’ be able to hear her say “finish now”.
As a final fun filled activity, give your toddler brother the toy golf club and annoy him. Race to the other end of the backyard, and yell, really loudly “MUM! He’s hitting me with a golf club!”
Watch her try to yell at the toddler … it’s hilarious!
That should keep you going for at least another day or two. But we’d love to hear your ideas and suggestions.