I managed to grab the time for antoher walk this morning. Hooray!
I offloaded the kids and husband, took the littlest one with me, because he is most portable – and sleeps! – and set off, determined look on face, snazzy new runners on, walking fast and on a mission to remove my expanded buttocks.
Hopefully not a mission impossible.
All well until I hit the river (not literally) where everyone else in the universe and their dog had suddenly decided they were going to get fit this morning. Possibly because the sun had come out.
Well, I was doing it first! Or, at least, before most of them. So why do they keep getting in my way? They see a pram, so there’s no need to give way? Did I look like I was going slower than them? Did my determined looking face and snazzy new runners not indicate that I was actually walking very fast and on a mission? Had they not seen my enlarged bottom and, therefore, my need to walk fast?
Or were they on a suicide mission?
I could make the baby cry, but I suspect that would only cause more people to get in my way.
Just get out of my way, people!
A little old lady at the fruit shop, which I pass on my way home, was in my way. I’ll give her credit though – she was the only one that increased her speed to get out of my way. And gave me a brilliant idea.
Putting apples into a plastic bag, she moved from sloth to snail pace – impressive – the quickly shuffled her way to the side. As she passed me she said “You need a hooter”.
(My darling husband, when I told him the story, kindly advised me I already had two. Large ones. Funny! (um, NOT))
I looked blankly at her.
“A hooter. A bell. So you can ring it and get everyone out of your way.”
Great idea! Thanks Little Old Lady.
I think I might get me a James Bond style hooter. One that fires tranquiliser darts at annoying people who are in my way when I’m on my Determined Butt Removing Mission and wearing my snazzy new runners.
Or maybe one that blows them up.
It’s really annoying! But a new hooter could solve the problem.
If nothing else, it will annoy them out of my way.
PS Here is a picture of my snazzy new runners hard at work …