“How was your morning?” asked one of my lovely colleagues.
(Just to confirm, I ONLY have lovely colleagues, not that some are lovely and others aren’t as that may have been interpreted.)
It was 9.17a.m. and we were on our way to a meeting. I had a coffee in my hand but I don’t think I’d had a sip of it at that time.
“Huh?” I said.
“How was your morning?” he asked again.
“I don’t know!” I replied, in a tone which was just short of being considered a snap.
Not that he deserved it, the being snapped at. It’s just, well, it was pre-10.00a.m. and I just don’t DO pre-10.00a.m.
I suck at it.
Thankfully, in this instance, we were able to laugh about his oversight and his asking of such difficult questions at such a ridiculous hour. Also, for being so bloody jovial.
It’s not a bad attitude towards my job thing, nor that I don’t enjoy being there. Quite the opposite; I love what I do, the people I work with are great, and I even rather look forward to Mondays, which, let’s be honest, confuses a great number of people.
No, I mornings and I are not on friendly terms. We skirt around each other, tolerating the fact that the other even exists and try to do our best under the circumstances.
Others have tried to speak to me before 8.00a.m. This is essentially pointless. Or likely to get you a spoon through your forehead if you’re happy and, I don’t know, functional.
I simply do not morning.
Aside from putting my slippers on before my pants, any number of incidents have occurred if I attempt to Morning:
- On more than one occasion I have made a coffee consisting of hot water and nothing else; I need a coffee just to be able to make my coffee
- I have put a sock on upside down
- I have poured my coffee directly into the centre of my coffee MUG; exceptional except the MUG was upside down
- I have been frustrated frequently about not being able to find the milk in the cutlery drawer, or a beverage receptacle in the fridge, a teaspoons in the crockery cupboard and my mind anywhere really
- I am kept active, at least now, because I am constantly forgetting things, post-coffee, but still pre-10.00a.m. and have to keep running back up the stairs to collect whatever it was
- Then retracing my steps because I did such sensible things as racing back up to get my keys, but taking my shoes with me, and leaving my shoes upstairs when heading back down with my keys
- This can and has happened up to seven times in one morning …
If you do ever come across me in the morning, remember it’s not personal, I just am not braining good.
Approach with caution, hugs and maybe a coffee. Speaking to me is ill advised, especially if you are one of those people who are not only capable of functioning in the a.m. but are happy about it.
And please don’t ask the difficult questions like “how are you?” and “would you like me to get you a coffee” … the answer is always “I don’t know” because, well, I am beyond any sort of feeling at that moment for the former, and the latter? Don’t ask, just do … and stand well back when you hand it over.
I am, really, extremely grateful. I may annoy you later in the day with incessant references to my appreciation, however …
What about you? Do you morning?