I helped at school today.
It was that LEGO Club thing that my eldest started and I agreed to. Encouraged him to follow his dreams and be all supportive and “You can do this, because you are so awesome and I love you”. That overriding joy at watching him overcome his fears and take this on (albeit with a friend virtually holding his hand, but still, he did it) was quickly diminished when the realisation that I had to be in attendance at each Club meeting, once a week in the school hall, descended upon me.
I thought I’d got out of it, because they said they needed a responsible adult. Huh. Yet they said “Thanks for helping” and there was no one behind me.
Today, they were organising their fundraiser, to raise more funds to buy more LEGO for the school. They thought of it themselves. I’m just there to facilitate. And listen to nine-eleven year old boy bullshit. And yell at them to “Finish your bloody posters cos I don’t wanna do this same shit again next week, ok?”
I also told them I rocked.
I told them they would know how much I rocked when I didn’t turn up to LEGO Club ever again, and then there would be no LEGO Club and so, ner.
So I told them an absolutely hilarious joke, because one of the kids drew a LEGO Minifigure and he hadn’t yet got to the arms, so I pointed it out that by saying “Look, he can’t hurt you, he’s ‘armless!” and they just rolled their eyes and asked me to please stop now. Kids these days just have no sense of humour. But at least they said please.
Then I went and helped in the classroom, where the kids are still working on their human body systems. They’re up to making life sized human bodies, with bits of crafty stuff stuck on that look like the particular system their group is working on. I was delegated the skeletal system. Monkey Boy had taken a balloon in for the diaphragm for his group’s body.
As part of the respiratory system.
The teacher asked “What are you going to stick that on with?” and gave me a sideways glance.
I asked if she’d said “stick that on, or stick that in”.
She contemplated asking me to leave, please, but asked that I tend to the skeletal system group, possibly to undo what misinformation Grumpy Pants had provided the kids with a few weeks back.
I stayed and learnt something valuable. Mostly, that my kids are quite normal and an entire classroom of children