My Day Off

I took the day off today.

Partly because I needed it.

Mostly because I’ve come to the realisation that there is no point in trying to fight the convoluted Hell that is my Usual Wednesday. Today had the added bonus of Someone Really Needs To Do The Grocery Shopping.

Partly because I decided to schedule it today, because I was planning to take it off.

Mostly because things were starting to look desperate.

I had my day beautifully planned; what I was doing, what time, where, when, how much and why.


I give Grumpy Pants a rundown on where I’d be, when he’d have Chippie, when I’d have him and he farewelled me, walking the kids to school as I ventured up to Coles, where I would be afforded the luxury of taking my time to do the shop, come home, have lunch and head up to school by 11.30.

They had an author, Adam Wallace, popping in for a visit, and I make it a point of attending these author sessions. Also, I feel like I know Adam, as I see him almost every month at our local craft market, and we have all but his latest book. I plan to get it.

Just as I pull into the supermarket car park, my phone rings. Monkey Boy is calling to say they have changed the time from 11.30 to 10.00. Oh. Yay. I have 33 minutes in which to shop, get home, dump everything and get to school.

I call Grumpy, who is still out wandering the streets with Chippie, to suggest we meet for a coffee. He says … and I stupidly, stupidly agree … “Nah, you’ll have time. I’ll come and help you, then drive you to school and I can unpack the groceries.”

This is a man whom, in all the time I’ve known him, has approximately zero concept of time, including things like Travel Time, Shopping Time, Dressing Time and just What Time The Clock Says in general.

I race the trolley around in my usual, systematic way. He pops in as I’m around halfway through and wanders up random aisles. This is not helping. I make the checkout. He’s stuck halfway up one aisle chatting to a friend he’s bumped into, and can then not find me.

We’re paying for our groceries at 9.58, after waiting five minutes for the woman before us to decide which credit card she’ll use.

Does she not know I’m in a hurry!!!!

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