My new tattoo

Apparently, I have a new tattoo.

It runs just across the top of my naked breasts and says something along the lines of “Please feel free to ogle and grope me at your own free will”

Because this is what happens in my boy-filled, testosterone-excreting household. My boobs are up for grabs to anyone who walks within 5 feet of them. They are also the subject of many a ‘conversation’

“ooh, Mummy, I can see your boobies”


Apparently, all my t-shirts, shirts, pyjamas and anything else covering said bosoms say something similar: “Up for grabs” “please grope, grab and otherwise fondle”

They are my boobs! They are attached to me. They have feelings.

Hell, I have FEELINGS!

Leave them alone, I have had enough. I don’t grab your boobs, todger or any other danglyl bits whenver I feel like it.


Or don’t come bitching to me when you get fucking stabbed! Ok?

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