Poo Tooth

Swimming lessons and coffee this morning, and re-organised Monkey Boy’s lesson time to avoid a repeat of last week’s drama.

Oh, and to provide him with some stability and consistency in his lessons.

And they were half an hour earlier, so we got home earlier, too. Nice.

His tooth was very wobbly, and he was very worried about it falling out in the pool.

(I, personally, would have been more worried about it being knocked fair out of my mouth if I didn’t stop frigging around and just get in the bloody pool. But that’s just me.)

Clearly, I was taking far too long serving dinner, given we’d been in the house just over 2 minutes. So they helped themselves to a carrot each and off they went.

(Not to the table, the only place in the house they are allowed to eat, of course, but up to the train set)

Computer still playing silly buggers, so attempted to run some checks on it – and it kept turning off whilst it was checking. This was beginning to scare me.

I was swearing and cursing at the computer, threatening to send it to work in the mines in Siberia, when Monkey Boy comes in, mouth full of semi-masticated carrot.

“Hey, Mum” he mumbles, mouth full. Then finished chewing, swollows and says “my tooth fell out.”

“Good, where is it?”

“I don’t know. It was here” he says, pointing to the gap “and now its not.”

“Did it fall out, or did you eat it?”

“I don’t know.”

We walk back to the room with the trains, and commence Operation Find Tooth. Due to the Polystyrene Massacre of a week ago, there remained some fallout, even after the Great Vacuumming. So every little white ball he could find was his tooth.

Except, obviously, it wasn’t.

We concluded he had swollowed it, leading to the panic and how was the Tooth Fairy going to give him money. Bugger the Tooth Fairy’s needs, he just wanted his money.

I told him I refused to look through his poo, and that he would have to do it himself. And I didn’t know how long it would take.

(Then called him Poo Tooth, because I am a mature and sophisticated woman)

Monkey Boy decided he’d prefer to write a note,

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