Sometimes, you do stuff that makes you happy dance and wanna run up the street, high fiving everyone.
You know, those moments where you just freaking ROCK!
Yeah, I had one of those moments the other day.
Big smiles, rocking like a mofo, and being just totally awesome … and I couldn’t share it.
Not cos it’s some sort of top secret thing that will bring down a corporation or a country. Although I have had to sign a few of those non-disclosure type things of late.
Let’s just put it this way; the parenting books, all of them, are seriously deficient in the management of the penis, and penis related discussion.
I feel heavily let down, not to mention slightly deficient in my abilities, given I am confronted by this wiggly-wangly appendage more often than I would like.
Possessing the ability to supress my nervous laughter under some circumstances, to bite my tongue and be all sensible and shit, I have been able to semi-adequately bluff my way thought a number of uncomfortable and difficult, ‘rude bits’ focussed discussion.
Not only with my own kids – and I say this at the risk of being labelled some kind of perverted weirdo – but with the offspring of others too. Mostly for the benefit of the withering-in-embarrassment or being overwhelmed by inadequacy mother of said be-penised child.
Not being in possession of a penis, however, I do find coming up with solutions and answers requiring an awful lot of brain power.
I had one of these extremely difficult, being-an-owner-of-a-penis-would-be-of-benefit, I-have-no-freaking-idea-what-the-answer-is situations the other day.
I put on my sensible face, I stuffed my desire to laugh hysterically deep down, nestled comfortably next to Oh, Shit, What If I Fuck This Up, and Who Let Me Adult, Anyway fears, and had a nice, calm discussion.
AND I FIXED A PENIS-RELATED DILEMMA!
High fives, everyone!
Sometimes, I freaking rock this parenting shit!
I’m also impressed that I managed to have an entire conversation without sarcasm, swearing, or sniggering uncontrollably.
That deserves a high-five itself!