September 24th

Headed off on the looooong drive to Sydney this morning. Left early, 5.30am!

Why is that every time we do a trip we leave early so that the “kids are tired” and “will sleep most of the way”, when, inevitably the kids are tired and rather than sleep they become feral, yet we do it every time anyway?

Not surprisingly, it was also raining, and rained most of the trip. Thus, our plans for picnics and some “running around to burn of some energy” and outdoor play never happened. This was not necessarily a bad thing, as Grumpy Pants – for some unknown reason – had this time been put in charge of the Packing Of Snacks For The Long Drive duties. Therefore, we were treated to 7 different varieties of chips, and the only fruit was in the form of lollies. We then had to find cafes that could cope with two feral children who’d been sitting on their arses in a car for hours.

Boredom kicked in and a game of “I Spy With My Little Eye” ensued. Monkey Boy started us off, and we were relieved to discover that his schooling had actually proven to be of some benefit, as this time around he was able to actually, um, spell. This made things somewhat easier.

Godzilla felt he was missing out, so jumped in with “I spell wif my liddle eye, somefin giginiging wif PG”.

After several attempts at guessing the answer, he informed us it was “Pigs, hehehehehehehehe”. The first time, the next “PG” was “train tracks” (obviously! Not sure how we didn’t get that one). The next was “blimp” then back to “train tracks”, and then Monkey Boy got shirty coz no one else was allowed to have a go.

Control was returned to Monkey Boy, who, thanks to Godzilla and “pigs”, brought the game into serious disrepute by “spying” several different versions of “pigs arse”.

We had, of course, pigs arse, pigs bum, pigs butt, pigs fart, daddy’s fart, daddy’s arse, then Mummy stating that enough was enough, and threatened to eat all the lollies, without sharing, if it continued. And there weren’t even any pigs in sight, let alone their arses!

Eventually made it to our desination, had a swim in the (freezing) swimming pool, ate dinner at the nice hotel restaurant, accompanied by tantrums “just coz” and went to bed early.

Where we were treated to two and a half hours of entertainment, whilst the kids attempted to jump from one bed to the other.

Just go to fucking sleep!!!!!!!!

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