Shopping With Baby

That time again.

Time for the weekly shop which is performed approximately once every 27 months in this house.

Grumpy home, so was able to leave him with Wedensday Afternoon Pre-schoolers. He did insist I take Chippie though, who was due for a feed soon-ish and cries whenever Grumpy picks him up. Hmmm.

I debated taking the baby bag, cumbersome as it is, but oh, so full of useful essentials. But he’d just done a poo, I could probably make it back home before he needed a feed and if not, I could feed him out anyway. No need to take the bag, so I grabbed my neglected bag and off we went.

Shopping With Baby:

1. Despite all good reasoning, if you don’t take the nappy bag, you will need it.

Found a trolley with one of those baby seats in relatively good nick, and with relatively front facing wheels. Chippie popped in, ensuring no part of his body was able to touch the sides or restraint straps. Still haven’t worked out how to prevent him sucking on the restraint straps, short of stapling dummy into his mouth. He still manages to suck on both. Euwww.

Things were going well. Most of the things I wanted and needed were on special. Nappies were HUGELY discounted, so I filled the trolley with those, and some wipes, vaguely considering that I was purchasing so many that he would grow out of them before we’d used them all, then remembered myself and remembered that that was not possible, what with all the pooing they do.

Shopping With Baby:

2. It is a weird conundrum that, with a baby, you need to purchase more, and bigger, items, but those trolleys with the baby seat on them are only big enough to house a packet of chocolate teddy bear biscuits and 300g double cream.

Part way around, Chippie gets a little unsettled and I realise he has done a poo. Euwwy, euww. And with the nappy bag at home, of course. I can drop everything and go home, or I can utilise the stuff I am about to purchase, meaning going to checkout now, dealing with it and coming back to complete shop, or just keep going. I decide to just keep going.

I know a feed is imminent. I would like to be home for that. Besides, I have ice-cream in the trolley, and that would just be sacrilege to have that melt. Gotta get your priorities right.

We zoom around, Chippie happily sucking the side of the baby carrier, trying to stuff peanut butter jars into gaps so they won’t fall out and we’re finished. We get to the checkouts – of which three are open and occupied – and go to the one with the least amount of items remaining on the belt.

Good thing really, as Chippie is now crying and getting louder.

Shopping With Baby:

3. Regardless of the checkout you choose, it will be the slowest one.

Checkout chick was having a lovely chat to the lady in front of me. I glance around at the two other functoning checkouts, which still had a lot of items on the belts. I make the decision to change when both are suddenly and inexplicably swarmed with shoppers. I’d now be 4th in line on one, and 7th on the other.

I stay where I am. Chippies cries getting louder as checkout chick slowly scans items, pausing between each one to chat.

I, loudly, attempt to sooth Chippie, not wanting to pick him up as not sure what contents of nappy will do …

Shopping With Baby

4. Contents of nappy will always leak when you are out. They will be catastrophic if you have no nappy bag with you.

Besides which, I couldn’t hold him and repack trolley then push it back to the car.

She kept chatting and slowly scanning. I kept looking at her.

What part of “fucking hurry up you stupid cow” of my glare do you not understand! and eventually we are served.

“Hi!Howyouthat’sgreat,” she parrotted.

Fucking fantastic, how the fuck do you think I am waiting in line with a screaming baby while you faff about?

4 Replies to “Shopping With Baby”

  1. I am pregnant and want to know if anyone has had any luck with skin care for stopping stretchmarks? I have heard that some are not safe to use and can harm my baby but I am so confused by which ones are ok and actually work to prevent stretchmarks, as I happily grow into my 9 month bump!

  2. No such thing as skin care ( or any other sort of thing) for stopping stretch marks.

    You’ll either get ’em or you won’t.

    You could try praying for a smallish baby and/or one that won’t cause excessive and quick growth (the cause of stretchmarks)

    If you do, however, feel like splashing out on getting yourself some skin care, perhaps you could just send the $$ my way – in the form of a sauv blanc from NZ or chocolate teddy bear biscuits. Of course, cash is also accepted …

  3. Hey! Congrats on your pregnancy, I am 3 months pregnant and have had 8 girlfriends all use this product called belli skin care, Elasticity Belly Oil that helps to prevent stretchmarks. Their doctor told them it was the safest to use, then I saw it on a current affair the other night as well. I read up all about in on their website and it talks heaps about what is safe, really interesting. None of my friends got ANY stretchmarks at all and swear by this for stopping stretch marks. I have only just started using it but so far so good! I ordered all of their other skin care for pregnancy as well and LOVING it. Wish you all the best for the months ahead, we are together in the skin stretch ? don

  4. WOW – really works, huh?

    I used absolutley NOTHING with any of my pregnancies and it really worked!!! No stretchmarks.

    Waaaaay cheaper!!! And much more convenient.

    Preferred to spend my $$ on wine 🙂

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