Show me the contract


Godzilla came home with an excursion note (that I actually got) regarding a trip onto the city to ACMI, wehre they, the preps and grade 1s, will be making a Christmas video. Therefore, they are required to be elves.

Have the teachers seen my to do list? Are they aware of my serious lack of ability to whip up an elf outfit? Do they not know I don’t care?

Thankfully, they have attached a note to the permission note, stating it does not need to be a hard outfit; a large t-shirt, stripy socks and tight pants for the boys.


This could go one of two ways:

1. I have interpreted the note as I want to interpret it and am under a misguided belief that others will have interpreted it the same way and all the other children will be as poorly dressed as mine;

2. I will go out and spend copious amounts of time and money on an outfit that will be worn once, and resent it.

At the very least, I will probably have to go and buy something. Godzilla neither has stripy socks nor tight pants. Also, I stilll have no inclination or time to go and purchase anything. The only person in the house with long (and short) stripy socks, is me. Oh, and Chippie, but his sock’s won’t cover Godzilla’s big toe.

I still maintain I’ve been gibbed. I had boys, and refuse to organise anything other than food and cake for their birthday parties so I’m not putting myself in a position of having to sew, create, purchase or otherwise think about dress ups.

I even think back to the birth-giving process and all I can recall signing was the bit of paper that I can now only think of as a “permission slip” that gave the obstetrician permission to cut me open and extract a wriggling, crying growth the size and shape of a baby boy. Nothing in that, I’m sure, about sewing

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