I’m sure my belly wasn’t this big yesterday.
Actually, I’m sure its not that big now. But, apparently it is.
Stupid kids who can’t find shoes that are just there!
Because, it is the very fact that they were just there and a kid couldn’t find them that caused the enormously expanded belly to test it’s ill-working proprioceptors, resulting in some kind of mammoth maneouvre that resulted in the frontage of the afforementioned enormous belly being scraped across the pointy bit of the end of a bed and it hurt!
Now, it feels like a great big (due to great biggety of the aforesaid frontage) bruise in the vicinity of my belly button.
Which is no longer ‘buttonish’ but a kind of discoloured, creased area in the middle of acred frontage.
Not that I can see if there’s a bruise. And even if there was, I probably wouldn’t get any sympathy anyway.