I’ve been on a slight downward spiral in terms of Feeling Crapulent the last few days. Weeks. Whatevers.
And despite Monkey Boy’s barely veiled attempts to guilt me into accompanying him to his parkour sessions, I chose to go with movies over him. Because I can.
Of course, my downward sprial, increasing levels of stress and tiredness and just feeling blah have my sensitivities to Feeling Guilty increased dramatically, and I spend 20 minutes of the 23 minute walk to school asking for reassurance from Grumpy Pants that it was ok that I have a night off (“Plesae, shut the fuck up and go, will you, it’s fine!”) and that he has all the necessary deatils for tonight’s parkour session. As it’s new. And in a different place. And there’s an email. Wait, I’ll print it out for you. And the map. Will you be ok?
After school, Monkey Boy went into his I’m Not Sure What To Expect So I Don’t Think I Want To Go Now mode. With added I’m A Bit Anxious So Will Be A Complete Arse Face To My Brother.
I had to divide my time between being elated and relieved about having a night off, guilty that I was having a night off, placating and reassuring Monkey Boy, and being fed up with his arse faceness and obnoxious.
The placation / disciplinary is a fine line to walk at the best of times.
I did it by snaffling the chips the kids didn’t know we had and putting them in my bag for the movies. I farewelled the family, who were all now required to trek into the City for some parkour action, and head off on my date.
The waves of stress fluttered out the window, but the guilt clung on for dear life. Basically, I rang Grumpy about four times on the way to my friend’s house to ensure they reached their destination