We’re fraught with teething problems at the moment.
Chippie’s two year old molars are coming through and creating merry hell (that’s “nice” for “pissing us off”). Mostly because we forget. I blame him. He cries a lot. I can’t work out which is teeth and which is being a little shit. How am I supposed to remember everything? I haven’t had a two year old for a while.
Monkey Boy is also testing out this new-ish “Tween” thing. Mostly by being a right little arse head.
Yesterday, I was forced to say “fuck you very much” when he caused my stress levels to increase significantly, and I – stupidly in hindsight – had the “that’s it, no more chances” rant, and how things were gonna be till he sorted his shit out, then, and this is the stupid bit, I allowed him the opportunity to apologise and gave him this One Last Chance, because I didn’t think it fair to spring the Zero Tolerance of Arse Heads on him like that.
Then … more teething probelms … I forgot. And he came home being an arse head and I’d forgotten all about my Zero Tolerance Talk until he stomped off to bed saying “Fine then, I’m going to bed” andI remembered and went, “Um… well, good! You do that, then!” Feeling not at all like I had the upper hand in the situation.
I resolved it slightly, after a bath with a glass of wine and toddler intent on pinching my left nipple, then biting my right hand as I tried to protect it. I entered his room, dressed entirely in a towel, reminded him of conversation yesterday where he informed me “I can say I don’t want dinner if I like,” followed immediately by “I can have whatever I like” and my usual “Do I look like a restaurant to you?” wasn’t adequate.
Determined to be an adult about it, I had more issues implementing a different approach. Itching to slap his face and say “stop being such a rude little shit”, I struggled somewhat with what to actually say. I found myself resorting to “Goddness me, that’s very rude” and “Gracious!” and lots more things along those lines. I never speak like that!
I really must find a happy medium. Because, quite frankly, they’re not working on this particular surly tween, who had no hesitation in informing me he did not, under any circumstances, agree to my threats of yesterday morning.
Good golly gosh! I cannot believe the cheek of him.
Although, I perhaps did think what the fuck?! Since when do you get a say?
Or maybe I said that out loud. Just one of the teething problems I’m working through.
And to finish it all off, Chippie’s teething problems have extended beyond hurting as they cut through his gums, and causing severe pain as he cuts through the flesh on the inside of his cheeks when he’s eating.