Ah, we must be just the right number of weeks into term 3.
The scratching of the head started again. With a vengance.
Again, only Monkey Boy – he must just taste scrumptious. If you’re a head lice.
We do the head check on the two of them. Once again, we find nothing. No eggs, no lice. We throw them both in the bath. Again this year, we commence the litre of cheap conditioner on the head, get the nit comb out and try to ignore the screams of torturous pain whilst we trawl the comb through the now soft and silky hair, removing the few wrigglers we find.
Then its the rinse off of the conditioner and on with the nuclear strength nit killer (NSNK). No lice liberationists in this house. We nuke the little buggers, whatever it takes.
But, where is the NSNK? Surely we have an abundance in stock? Finally locate a bottle, which has bugger all in it.
Just enough to do the two kids. Apply what we can to each head, massage it in as directed and set about awaiting the required 10 minutes, whilst ensuring the kids don’t put their heads under water, pour water over each other’s head or otherwise wash the NSNK off, or somehow absorb it through some orifice.
You can’t just be safe with accidental oral consumption of the product, they have been known to somehome end up with it in all sorts of unexpected, and sometimes inconceivable, places.
We didn’t, however, expect the nit killer to be given a helping hand by Godzilla. Weeing on Monkey Boy’s head.
So off to the supermarket I send Grumpy to purchase another 40 litres of NSNK at an exorbitnat total of $486.00, while I go about the fun task of stripping everything remotely washable and running it through the machine at some ridiculously high temperature.