The Bad Evil Mummy Finds a Productive Way to Tidy the House


Monkey Boy is behaving like an eight year old boy.

You know, an obnoxious, smart arsey, not listening, annoying, whinging little poo who refuses to do anything useful or cooperate and insists on doing things that annoy, obstruct, hurt or otherwise just piss me right off!


Me and everyone within a 5km radius.

I’ve applied all the stuff the books suggest. Time out, removal of important toys and all kinds of priveleges…

“So, I don’t care.”

Fine then!

I find one of those stupid, mini plastic slinky things. Whatever happened to the decent, metal slinkies? They were really cool.

Anyhoo. It’s caused no end of drama for 28 hours straight now. He won’t let his brother touch it. He leaves it lying around and in my way. He takes Godzilla’s cars and attaches them to the end and swings it around. Then refuses to stop because “I’m bored and this is fun.” The fact its nearly taken out several eyes and he’s been asked to stop several more times is irrelevant.

But I think i’ve come up with a way to:

  1. Rid the house of bloody stupid, cheap, crap “toys” that really annoy me
  2. Prevent the slinky from being the cause of any further distress
  3. Make Monkey Boy behave like a normal person.

Hooray. I am resourceful.

I take the slinky.

I take my good Tupperware scissors.

I hold them both up and say to Monkey Boy “stop annoying your brother”. So he pokes his brother.

So, I chop a couple of coils off the end of the slinky. Lucky its a short one. He may get the message sooner than if it was one of the long ones.

He yells at me and says some rude words. So I chop a bit more off.

Realising he’s not going to get anywhere by yelling at me, he takes it out on his brother.

So a bit more comes off the end.

He stomps away for several hours.

Ah, peace.

I think he’s got it. He is suitably helpful whilst I’m preparing dinner. He is suitably pleasant during dinner. We watch some TV where he snuggles up to me and is happily content. We play some Wii, where he is gracious and sharing.

I think all the goodness got to him after a while, because then he completely lost it, screamed a bit at Godzilla, said some horrible things and turned the Wii off while we were in the middle of a game.

The scissors came out.

The slinky was sliced lengthways from one end to the other.

Monkey Boy was then sent to his room.

Damnit. Now I have to go pick all the bits up so Chippie doesn’t eat them.

Fortunatley, Godzilla recognises the times to not piss mummy off and got down on the floor and helped me pick them all up.

Two birds with one stone … damn slinky is now no longer a problem, and I think Monkey Boy really did get the hint.

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