The Coolest Mum in the World

Several weeks ago, I embarked upon a discussion with Monkey Boy regarding his impending birthday.

Admittedly, each year he initiates the For My Next Birthday Discussion one day after he’s had his birthday, but I do a damn good job of ignoring him and fobbing him off until I realise it is coming up, that the calendar for that time of year is rapidly filling up and I should probably do something about it so we don’t have a repeat of his tenth birthday, whereby celebrations happened three weeks after his actual birthday, and only days short of Christmas.

This was not fun for anyone.

I bailed him up to find out what he wanted to do, and whom he’d like to invite. This resulted in a small number of friends (phew) but a full day of activities including paintball, tree climbing, rock climbing and jumping on trampolines. Oh, and catching an historical train.

Some discussions around logistics – much less costs – ensued and I finally persuaded him to whip up a bit of an invitation with ONE of the aforementioned desired activities, followed by a bbq in a park, where he could invite a few more attendees.

Three weeks and an exceptional amount of nagging later I find he has done nothing of the sort. Attempts to explain the longer he leaves it the less likely a) anything he wants to go to will have any spots to book and b) his friends will be available as it is a shit time of year and people’s diaries fill up fast.

But what would I know? I’ve only organised a birthday party at this time of year for him each year for the last 12 years. Apparently, this 13th year will be different because he will be a teenager and knows everything.

Some vague plans were discussed, he wrote a few lines on the computer in a Word document and said “you can fancy it up, you’re really good and creative and stuff” … I suspect this was his way of buttering me up so I’d make his invites look pretty.

I ventured online to see if I could book a place. Inevitably, due to closeness of date, the plans he had put down on his invite did not coincide with the times available for the activity he most wanted to do.

Another 24 hours delay whilst we attempted to regroup and plan something.

Eventually, I just booked

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