The Dibber Dobber and the Kiss Arse

Ah, my children are going through some lovely, lovely phases.

With the dishwasher out of action again, the Dibber Dobber and Kiss Arse phases are back.

This is the phenomena where 8 year old son reports back everyting the six year old is doing. Or not doing. Everything that comes out of his mouth is “He’s not drying the dishes”, “He’s not picking up his stuff”, “He’s running around naked”, “He looked at me!”. “He breathed when I told him not to” etc etc blah blah.

Most of which my reply is “Why don’t you jsut do what you’re supposed to be doing and let me worry about him” and, shortly afterwards “Please shut up now.”

Of course, he is completely innocent himself, and while he’s telling me that his brother “isn’t picking his toys up” he is picking his own up. Oh, wait, no he’s not. He’s so busy dibber dobbing that he’s doing fuck all. And then he refuses to do things because he claims his brother isn’t doing them, and shortly afterwards, it escelates into revulsion. You know, where the 8 year old becomes obnoxious and revolting.

Enter the Kiss Arse, the transformation of the 6 year old, where, whilst you’re “having dicussions” with the older brother, involving things like “Pick the frigging things up or I’ll put them in the bin” the 6 year old follows you around (not actually doing anything) but saying “I’m a good boy mummy, aren’t I? I’m picking aaalllllll my things up. See?” And basically being so sweet it’s sickening.

And really, really annoying.

I just want them to pick their crap up off the floor. I don’t need a running commentary!

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