Trigger warning: content includes discussion of domstic violence, and a reality check for humans, generally – it’s confronting
Some years ago, I attended a series of business events; aimed at getting my arse into action and doing stuff and things.
One of the main messages in these series of events, all run by the same people/company, was that to raise awareness of … whatever … you need to be controversial. To get people talking.
Whilst I agreed, to a level, what I really struggled with was not the being controversial, but that the actions these people took, and that they encouraged me, personally, and others in the group, was to go out of your way to be controversial. To rattle cages, to shake things up.
What was encouraged, and done, was well beyond rattling cages and getting people to take notice. What they did was went out of their way to cause trouble. To rattle cages by making the other party feel like crap. I struggled with that; I’m happy for controversy when the focus is on changing people’s lives for the better. I know I upset people, and I hate that I do. I like to think, however, my heart and focus are on making one group of people feel better … not making the ‘other’ group feel crap.
That does not work for me. The focus is all wrong; the focus is on the making of people feel bad. I can’t do that – fuck me, I hate that even in my desire to make people feel better about themselves, to stress less I inadvertently make others feel bad. Ultimately the cage-rattliing controversy they were encouraging was that of raising your own profile; not that of making a difference to the lives of others. That’s not for me … nor is it me.
Right now, I’m struggling very much with something similar. I arrived home from my much needed escape – ironically, much of the ‘need’ for my escape was because of the shite I returned to the connected, wireless world that leaves me feeling blah – to see that the ‘lovely’ Miranda Devine had used precisely this cage-rattling, arsefaced tactic to ‘raise awareness of an issue’.
That issue being Domestic Violence.
Where we’re now up to, what? 66 women killed this year as a result of the issue.
And she needs to say some absolutely unhelpful and horrific things like, and I quote (from this article):
If you want to break the cycle of violence, end the welfare incentive for unsuitable women to keep having children to a string of feckless men.
Whilst I understand, and often resort to, the need for genralisations, this sort of shit just fuels an already narrow minded, simplistic perspective of domestic violence. Not only does it reinforce the misinformation, it does