The Evening Routine

I’m not one to shy away from chaos – I thrive on it, to be honest.

But, at times, I like a little bit of “routine”. Mostly when I am trying to finish off a blog post, prepare dinner and sit on my arse watching MasterChef Professionals and demanding hubby take me to a fine dining restaurant.

He, unfortunately, wasn’t home to nag, having been offered a last minute shift.

The children happily occupied with each other, I disrupted the play to get the dishwasher unstacked and restacked and my dinner preparation area, of which I now have approximately 2.5 inches square, cleared.

Whilst that was happening, I tended to a writing job I had and wanted finished before the aforementioned television viewing.

Which is around the time it all went to shit. Chippie, aged four, decided that he was annoyed with Godzilla (9) for leaving their friendly game of whatever, and proceeded to annoy him.

He did this by advising Godzilla that he was going to “rip you heart out”, which is not going to get the dishwasher sorted, and will probably make somewhat of a mess on the floor and give me something else to yell at them about cleaning up. I have already had numerous words to Chippie about his Putting His Clothes Away, which pretty much amounted to him dumping the lot on the wardrobe floor. Including, I discovered, five pairs of my undies that I’ve been searching for.

The dishwasher tasks eventually completed some forty-five minutes and glass and a half of wine later, I was able to cook dinner. During this time, they found a sticky lizard and threw it onto the ceiling, where it stayed stuck and refused to come down.

I can’t say I could blame it, really.

Bored with screaming at it to come down – ironically, it has the same Listening Powers as my own children – they found the “sausage balloons” and proceeded to make balloon animals.

As one does of an evening, surely?

Throughout this, “Please shut up!” was uttered approximately 23 times, another glass of wine was downed, five balloon fish were made, one had a face drawn on it, “Go and brush your teeth” and “get ready for bed” were stated some 47 times, another two fish were fashioned into shape, one was sacrificed on the chopping board and a final “Do not use my good knives for doing stupid shit!” was uttered.

Then they went to bed and, surprisingly, fell asleep almost immediately. I had thought they were a little too hyped up, but I’m thinking I might use this Settling Routine more often.

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